Mexican Food Defeated America. Now, Mexicans in America Will Defeat SB 1070

[Crossing the Line] A cycle of justice that must be remembered

A couple of years back, I helped to put four white supremacists in prison. They had made the mistake of going into the Slater Slums of Huntington Beach, the city's traditional barrio, to kill a random Mexican. They got as far as stabbing a man before the Slater Slums smackdown began: Community members came out from their apartments and kicked the shit out of the KKKlowns—a beatdown of wonderful, ironic proportions. Not a single Mexican was arrested; the Candy Ass Gang, as we called them, went away for years, convicted on hate crimes (see "Slater Slums Smackdown," Nov. 25, 2009).

I discovered the crime was premeditated, announced on a white-power Internet radio show just weeks before. But I also discovered that the attackers loved Mexican food: A source sent me a bunch of pictures showing the pendejos in various states of devouring burritos and tacos from Del Taco.

Race traitors? Hardly. Just following American policy: Hate the Mexican, love the Mexican food, assault the Mexican, get your ass handed to you by Mexicans. This has been America's experience with Mexicans, a cycle of justice that must be remembered when considering what's happening to this country right now in the wake of Arizona's State Bill 1070 and its many copycats. Those Know-Nothing politicians, judges and voters who pass law after law trying to stop Mexicans from asserting themselves in this country are reminiscent of King Canute commanding the tide to stop: The game is already over. We beat you with our Mexican food long ago, and we're going to beat you on SB 1070, as well.

Although the dinner table may seem an unlikely battleground, you've got to know your history, kids. Food is one of the first things a conquering group demonizes when trying to repress a smaller group. The Spaniards tried to wean the Aztecs off tortillas and get them into bread—to no avail. According to Texan urban legend, during the Mexican-American War, animals wouldn't eat the corpses of fallen Mexican soldiers due to the high chile content in the decaying flesh.

Similar knocks against Mexican food can be heard in the lurid tourist tales of "Montezuma's Revenge" and in the many food-based ethnic slurs still in circulation: beaner, greaser, pepper belly, taco bender, roach coach and so many more. "Aside from diet," the acclaimed borderlands scholar Américo Paredes wrote in 1978, "no other aspect of Mexican culture seems to have caught the fancy of the Anglo coiner of derogatory terms for Mexicans."

But that's all an undercurrent in the larger story of Mexican food's conquest of this country to the tune of billions of dollars: tacos, tequila, hot sauce, chili, Chipotle, Rick Bayless and so much more. If America had truly been successful in its anti-Mexican campaigns over the past 150 years, it would have eradicated our cuisine à la the dishes of all the Native American tribes we exiled to permanent ethnic curiosity. It's not as though politicians haven't been down this road before: Dudley Do-Rights have long tried to ban street vendors, taco trucks, cottage-food industries and other Mexican culinary traditions from suburbs and cities alike, only to see the common American repudiate them again and again.

And that's what's going to happen with SB 1070. It will go down as did California's Proposition 187, which sought to make all government workers migra agents but later was declared unconstitutional. It'll fail the same as the mass deportations of Operation Wetback in the 1950s and those that occurred during the Great Depression—government mandates that Mexicans and the Americans who hire them quickly ignored. It'll fall the same as Los Angeles—once one of the most gabacho big cities in the United States, now run by a hell of a lot of Mexicans and their obsequious gabacho counterparts.

Hell, even Tom Tancredo loves Mexican food. The notorious anti-Mexican former Colorado congressman debated with me over assimilation in Denver during the fall of 2010. And what did we eat before our philosophical fisticuffs? Tamales.

America, if Tom Tancredo—who did his damnedest to stop Mexicans from coming into this country and left a failed legacy on that front—admitted defeat with each bite of a millennia-old meal, then so will you. Don't worry; we'll be nice. And we'll make sure to add an extra shot of tequila to your frozen margarita when the courts, either now or in a decade or two, realize that SB 1070 is the Plessy v. Ferguson of the 21st Century and overturn this pendejada. In the meantime, keep getting sloshed on bad margaritas!

This article appeared in print as "Love the Beans, Hate the Beaner: Don't worry: The Mexicans will be nice when they defeat you."

 
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12 comments
Eddie Willers
Eddie Willers

Yuh-huh - gotta' keep lettin' them dirt-brown-&-poor folk cross the border - all in the name of 'steam control' dontcha' know? Letting the United Mexican States ship all its troublesome poor folk north won't incentivize their pols to do anything about the social conditions in their own homeland...

So CAL Snowman
So CAL Snowman

Mexicans, just like their country, are third world embarrassments.

CrAsh
CrAsh

Taco Bell is Mexican food?

Bill T.
Bill T.

Isn't calling Taco Smell "Mexican food" a bit of a stretch?

Bill T.
Bill T.

Where did he say "single handedly"? Twist words much?

No Dream Act 4 U
No Dream Act 4 U

Who ya'll gonna call to run shit when you're the majority? Sure as hell aren't enough doctors and engineers coming out of raztlan to keep things going. Or will a generation of ethnic and chicano studies majors suddenly conjure up the calculus needed to keep the water flowing?

Bien Vendido
Bien Vendido

"Us vs them" mentality from Tavito. So now we know the mexica is America's fifth column. Abajo el pueblo! No pasaran los mojados! El pueblo mojado jamas sera bienvenido.

Prawda
Prawda

Jon, it doesn't work that way anymore. There is a sense of entitlement by the "inbound" They deserve free college where citizens have to pay full price. Be ready for the comments and name calling to begin, that's how the 'inbounds" roll, when they got nothin' they begin to curse, cultural thing, don't take it personal.

JON
JON

It is very simple, laws and procedures are in place, use them. My Grand parents came here through Ellis Island, so it is my expectation that anyone else who wants to come to this counry does it the right and legal way.

Prawda
Prawda

Liking another "ethnic" food is hardly fair to say that the food "defeated" a nation. Pizza is more popular than Mexican food, hot dogs are more popular than mexican food. Hamburgers are more popular than mexican food. SMH

Prawda
Prawda

Gustavo, now that you single handedly put a stop to the KKKlowns, are you going to do something about the mexican gangs in your beloved Santana who kill innocents, children or who ever gets in their way? What is your idea on putting the stop on these gangs, specifically mexican gangs? Mexicans claim streets as their own. Show me the ownership papers, like dogs they pee on the trees and the others come by and smell it.Why is that? Thanks.

 
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