How to Make Real Absinthe

[Summer Guide 2012] Make, then drink the real stuff!

Though fancy liquor stores sell bright-green booze in bottles labeled "Absinthe," it's not the real deal. Actual, bona fide absinthe is illegal to sell in the U.S., as it contains a chemical called thujone, produced by wormwood, which is banned in food products by the FDA. Thujone is also what gives absinthe its narcotic properties—though the effects are closer to those of THC than LSD. Sorry to dash those bohemian-artist dreams of yours, but you're not drinking the real stuff.

However, wormwood itself can be found if you look hard enough (or just buy it online); I actually used to get it from a witchy little shop in Long Beach. Just for the hardcore absinthe-aficionado wannabes, here's the recipe for the moonshine version of the Green Fairy—obtained from an "Absinthe Professor" at Burning Man (totally legit). It's pretty rough, though, and might have some crazy side effects if you drink too much (like going blind or cutting off your ear), so have a friend try it first.

* Click HERE for instructive slideshow! *

 

You'll need:

750 ml. 100-proof vodka or Bacardi 151

1 oz. wormwood (do NOT buy powdered wormwood, which creates a black, undrinkable sludge )

1 tsp. angelica root

1 tsp. hyssop

1/4 tsp. cardamon pods

1/2 tsp. coriander Seeds

1/2 tsp. anise seeds

1/4 tsp. caraway seeds

 

1. Combine wormwood and alcohol in a large glass jar and leave in the dark (the back of a closet works nicely) for 10 days.

2. Strain out wormwood. This process takes awhile, so be patient! Try using cheesecloth or even coffee filters.

3. Add remaining spices to alcohol.

4. Return to the Dark and soak for four more days. Then strain well.

5. Pour into a glass over a sugar cube. Add water to cut the taste (optional). Cheers!


 

 
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8 comments
Ádám Oláh
Ádám Oláh

It's like you stated that real plum brandy is illegal in the States because real plum brandy contains cyanide and methanol. You could also add that cyanide makes you high. Then, you could tell people how to make real plum brandy without distillation, and the picture would be complete.

Acford
Acford

Ha! Not even close... absinthe is in fact legal, and the good stuff has been scientifically proven to not have thujone in it.

ageofknowledge
ageofknowledge

Instead of drinking alcohol swill, here's what you should do:

Ingredients:

1. one herbal tea bag.

2. one mug of hot water.

Put herbal tea bag in mug of hot water and let stew for a couple of minutes then take the tea bag out and discard properly.

You're done. Enjoy.

Victor
Victor

This self-proclaimed 'Absinthe Professor' from Burning Man (chuckle) clearly wouldn't know absinthe from apple sauce. I suppose he makes a Merlot from soaking grapes in dilute vodka too? All it takes is 10 minutes of research to realize just how woefully misleading is this article. These instructions will only yield something awful, which is neither remotely recognizable nor passable as genuine absinthe.

WS
WS

Next: How to Make Real Cake.

You'll need:

1 cup white sugar 1/2 cup butter 2 eggs 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour 1 3/4 teaspoons baking powder 1/2 cup milk

Directions:In a medium bowl, cream together the sugar and butter. Beat in the eggs, one at a time, then stir in the vanilla. Combine flour and baking powder, add to the creamed mixture and mix well. Finally stir in the milk until batter is smooth. You're all done.

Enjoy!!

GWW
GWW

This article is TOTAL BS!!!!! Real absinthe has been available in the US for about five years now.Know WTF yer talking about willya?!!! You never know who's going to read your "journalism"

Jmcguinness
Jmcguinness

This is NOT real absinthe. This will make a horrible tasting astringent drink. Real absinthe needs to be distilled after the flavorings are added to be palatable.

 
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