Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations--changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent--to Hey, You! c/o OC Weekly, 2975 Red Hill Ave., Ste. 150, Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or e-mail us at email@example.com.
To the 10- or maybe 11-year-old girl who, without thinking twice, jumped up to help me pick up the 50-cent roll of pennies I dropped at the bank. I thank you endlessly! Were I not so poor (that I had to cash four rolls of pennies), I'd have thrown a few bucks your way. And to the six adult subhuman twats who stood around like a bunch of apes, mouths agape and smirking nervously, not even giving me the courtesy of kicking the pennies by your feet over to me—those who did literally NOTHING? Go eat a bullet. My faith in humanity is restored. Thanks, girly.