Feline Angry Today?

[Hey, You!] If you don't love some cat, set it free

Box Brown


Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations--changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent--to Hey, You! c/o OC Weekly, 2975 Red Hill Ave., Ste. 150, Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or e-mail us at

You were the sour old man with gray hair along the side of the 15 freeway. We were driving back to Orange County from Las Vegas and saw you outside your car with a cage. You released a white cat on the side of the freeway. I saw the furry white feline bolt into the vast desert to get away from your crotchety old ass. What did this milky-colored kitty do to you to make you do this? There is no way someone with your antiquated skills could get a feral cat into a cage. Besides, it was too good looking to be an alley cat. I can only figure that your ailurophobia (irrational fear of cats) got the best of you. And with this came selfish intolerance, so you took someone's pet and made it vanish. There is no way this critter has the wherewithal to survive such a harsh environment. I believe in Mother Nature and I believe she was watching you that Saturday morning. And when you pass, I foresee you being depicted as St. Anthony in Michelangelo's painting "The Torment of St. Anthony." Where normally you would be flown by angels, instead you will be assailed in the desert, tormented by demons.