By Gustavo Arellano
By R. Scott Moxley
By Alfonso Delgado
By Courtney Hamilton
By Joel Beers
By Peter Maguire
By Charles Lam
By Charles Lam
Lobdell was a legend with the Los Angeles Times as its religion writer and wrote a critically acclaimed book about his experience. But when Lobdell couldn't adjust to the realities of the new digital age, he went to the other side: not just as a public-relations hack, but as the $3,000-per-week bagman for the city of Costa Mesa, whose City Council is pleading poverty while attempting to outsource hundreds of city jobs. The mind that once antagonized everyone from Robert Schuller to Diocese of Orange Bishop Tod D. Brown is now writing hosannas about the city's proposed belt-tightening and unleashing the same chihuahua-esque snarls against reporters that Catholic Church officials released on him not too long ago. Mitigating Factor: He was the man who confirmed long-whispered rumors that Trinity Broadcasting Network head Paul Crouch paid off a man who claimed the two of them had a homosexual tryst.
Octomom is the gift that keeps on scaring. The No. 2 Most-Hated Mother In America (congrats, Casey Anthony!) starred in a fetish video alongside a grown man wearing a diaper, told InTouch magazine that she "hates" her brood of 14, stepped into a celebrity boxing ring to stave off foreclosure on her La Habra home, and signed on to play a woman impregnated by a demon in a Hollywood film. And all that was just in 2011. Still, none of the antics is absurd enough to distract from the real question: When will someone rescue those poor kids? Mitigating Factor: Her octo-doc, Michael Kamrava, lost his medical license this year.
CATHERINE KIEU BECKER
This lady taught us a very big lesson: Don't fuck around on your spouse, lest you be left unable to fuck again. The 48-year-old Garden Grove resident is accused of drugging her estranged 60-year-old husband's tofu dinner, tying him to the bed and—hold on to your . . . er, seats, gentlemen—chopping his penis off. So what would any respectable person do with a piece of meat they didn't want? Drop it in the garbage disposal and flip the switch, of course! Becker then called 911 and told police he deserved it. Mr. Becker's pecker wasn't able to be reattached. So, boys, next time your ex slashes your tires, give her a call and thank her for not slashing anything else. Mitigating Factor: Where she's likely going, she won't be around penises for a very long time.
SOKA UNIVERSITY OF AMERICA
The Aliso Viejo institution promises a "culture of equality," but the following disclaimer should probably be added: "But members of the Buddhist sect Soka Gakkai are more equal than others." Some former faculty members call themselves "Soka refugees," claiming they were deceived by the university's nonsectarian status and treated differently because of their religion. Ex-professor Gaye Christoffersen, who lost a legal battle with the university this year, brought forth one email sent in 2002 by Alfred Balitzer, the then-dean of the university: "SUA will always have two faces and two kinds of faculty," it read, "and that is why we as SUA top administrators have to carefully care for the Gakkai members as they are being swamped by non-Gakkai faculty." Mitigating Factor: The campus sure is pretty.
SCOTT CHRISTOPHER MONTOYA
There are fantastic deputies inside the Orange County Sheriff's Department (OCSD), and there are also officers who should have never been given a badge and gun. According to OCSD records, while on duty, Montoya liked to tell women he met whether he thought they were "doable" or "fuckable" and spent hours MIA with prostitutes in his patrol region. Before being fired from his well-paying job by Sheriff Sandra Hutchens, he also told women, including teenage girls, that his cock is so big he could make an elephant scream. Mitigating factor: Fucked himself in the end.
We're guessing professional-football-player-turned-Irvine-gym-trainer Eric Naposki wanted to be convicted this year for the 1994, for-financial-gain murder of William McLaughlin, an ultra-wealthy Newport Beach businessman. Sure, Naposki pleaded not guilty, but his courtroom conduct spoke otherwise. Why else would he sit at the defense table, grab gruesome crime-scene photos and brazenly smirk? Why else would he strut into Judge William Froeberg's courtroom each day as if he were having the time of his life? Why else would he spend most of his trial purposely looking either bored or ready to kill homicide prosecutor Matt Murphy? Mitigating factor: He should soon be having the time of his life—without the possibility of parole.
The most disturbing non-criminal on this list is Davenport, an elected member of the Orange County Republican Party. This Fullerton grandmother is generally a simple, sweet, conservative, Christian woman, one who sent fellow GOP officials an inflammatory email containing an image with President Barack Obama's face superimposed on a picture of the baby in a family of three chimpanzees, along with the words "Now we know why no birth certificate." Davenport couldn't comprehend why her move would be seen around the world as racist. But rather than accept responsibility, she first tried to blame OC GOP chairman Scott Baugh for not defending her, and then, during an appearance on Larry Elder's KABC-AM radio show in Los Angeles, she identified the "real racists": Democrats. Mitigating Factor: Couldn't make it any clearer that birtherism equals racism.