Put down that plastic-bagged "sexy" cop/cat/sailor/Mrs. Potato Head costume from Whore Avenue that you bought at your local Halloween pop-up shop and back away sloooowly.
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While I'm a supporter of wearing whatever the hell you want on Halloween, why risk looking like every other sexy Chewbacca out there when you can go the way of pop culture? Meet Headline Costumes (HeadlineCostumes.com), where costumes are available in the categories of men, women, couples, Internet stars, pop stars, sexy (kinda), evil dictators, trainwrecks and movie/TV characters. The site first caught my attention with its mauve, tentacled Princess Beatrice hat ($40)—modeled after that brow-raising headpiece Fergie's daughter wore to Prince William's nuptials. Throw on a bland dress in the same bland color and too much eyeliner and mascara, practice your best crazy eyes in the mirror, and you're good to go.
But it's not all about sales for HeadlineCostumes.com: It also offers tips on how to put together your own costumes at home. Check out the tip sheet for an excellent Gustavo Fring, the badass villain from the best show on television right now, Breaking Bad. While it does direct you to various online shops to purchase individual pieces of Fring's outfit, it breaks it down for you pretty well: frameless eyeglasses, yellow button-down shirt, simple black tie, maybe even a Los Pollos Hermanos mug. Or want to be one of the dozens of Steve Jobs you're bound to see out on Halloween? Make sure to get those New Balance sneakers—it's not just about the black mock turtleneck and glasses.
Purchase an Amy Winehouse beehive wig, pinup tattoos and "the propensity for self-damaging behavior" for $30. There's a $40 Pan Am stewardess costume (though prepare to hear "BRITNEY SPEARS!" all night). Thirty dollars gets you a salt-and-pepper wig and gray beard for the Dos Equis spokesdude; just dust off that suit and walk around with an (empty, preferably) bottle of his signature suds. There's also Harold Camping, Rebecca Black (not too recognizable, but you could just go around singing all night, I guess), a Justin Bieber wig (notably listed under both the men's and women's sections of the site), Kim Jong Il and a few random Internet memes (Rage Face mask, Forever Alone mask, hipster Ariel, etc.).
The concept for Headline Costumes was born out of a single beard in 2009: The Hangover beard, as seen on Zach Galifianakis' character with the baby carrier and modified aviator shades; 2010's big costumes included the Jersey Shore gang, Chilean miners, BP oil-spill workers and Antoine Dodson. What will be big this year?
This column appeared in print as "Be Hipster Ariel for Halloween!"
