Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations--changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent--to Hey, You! c/o OC Weekly, 2975 Red Hill Ave., Ste. 150, Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or e-mail us at email@example.com.
On several occasions, you illegally accessed our property to engage in your “fishing expeditions,” resulting in the (presumably agonizing) deaths of several beautiful koi fish. Later, I found the victims floating on their backs with hooks embedded in their mouths. Finally, you were caught in the act and arrested. Going to jail should have been the least of your punishments. Maybe the karmic cycle will come fully around, and you will find yourselves reborn as a fish in the next life, left to the mercy of space-wasting reprobates such as yourself.