Getting a Rise Out of Me

[Hey, You!] After sunset, you should probably keep the Good News to yourself

Marla Campbell


Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations--changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent--to Hey, You! c/o OC Weekly, 2975 Red Hill Ave., Ste. 150, Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or e-mail us at

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You were the guy who roused me from serene contemplation as I worked at my home computer late the other night. You stood in my front yard and yelled at my second-story window that "The Lord is risen." Living on a quiet, suburban cul-de-sac, I'm not used to such visits from strangers at 11 p.m. Thanks for making the hair on my neck stand on end. Up until the other night, I probably would have said Christianity is better taught in the home than, say, a public school. Now that I find myself looking out my front window every time I get up, I'm not so sure it should be taught at all.

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Hey, guy who stood next to me at Barnes and Noble and farted loud and long and then followed me to the next section and did it again. Was I being taped for a dopey YouTube skit, or did you really mistake me for a Port-a potty? When I saw you follow me into a 3rd section I nearly pulled my hammy double timing it away from you. I wanted both to slug you and recommend a gastro specialist. Seriously, that's some rank behavior. The next guy might be a Raider fan, so back off on the roach coach food.

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