My Daughter, the 13-Year-Old Terrorist

[Hey, You!] What OC bank told the feds their teen customer was evil?

We opened a teen account at your bank in anticipation of my daughter's junior-high school's history tour of Washington, D.C. My kid and I went into the Brea branch in February to open the account, and you couldn't wait for us to sign on the dotted line.  In mid-March, we made an ATM deposit of her allowance. Yet, when we went in early April to use the ATM for another deposit, the account had been mysteriously closed. You told us we would have to wait five to six days to get her money back. We totally freaked. Your manager kicked us out. We made a stink. You called and begged us to come back. No way. We demanded the dough, and you delivered it to our home.

Marla Campbell


Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations--changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent--to Hey, You! c/o OC Weekly, 2975 Red Hill Ave., Ste. 150, Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or e-mail us at

Later, in the mail, there was a cryptic note addressed to the 13-year-old that she had somehow violated Section 326 of the USA Patriot Act. We parents just hoped the pint-sized Patriot Act violator wouldn't be waterboarded en route to D.C. Please, don't let any other kid's piggy bank be raided due to your failure to comply with federal legislation. We are suburban customers, not terrorists.