Is Being a Robber and an Illegal Immigrant the Same Crime?

[¡Ask a Mexican!] And why are there Mennonites in Mexico?

DEAR MEXICAN: A few years ago, my girlfriend and I visited the beautiful city of Mérida in the Yucatan. We were surprised to see a sentence in our guidebook warning us to be on the lookout for Mennonites peddling queso in the mercado. Sure enough, we bumped into a bearded, light-skinned Mennonite carrying cheese! As we left Mérida and drove into the heart of the peninsula, we noticed that the Mennonite farmers were the only ones who owned modern farm equipment. After seeing two Mennonite farmers broken down on the side of the road, it was clear no Mexicans were going to stop to help them. Can you tell us more about this unusual population of Mennonites in a predominantly Catholic country? How did they get to the Yucatan, why are they seemingly better off than other Mexican farmers, and how do Catholic Mexicans feel about them?

Ecumenical Eric

DEAR GABACHO: Actually, Mexico's main concentration of its 26,000 Mennonites is in the northern part of the country, specifically in the state of Chihuahua. Their ancestors arrived in the 1920s from Canada at the invitation of then-president Álvaro Obregón, who's perhaps better remembered for erecting a monument in Mexico City to his blown-off arm. Obregón gave the Mennonites special economic protection, which allowed their religious colonies to quickly prosper, especially in the agriculture that Mennonites (God bless their Anabaptist ways) concentrate on even to this day. Mexicans generally like Mennonites: They're not heretics like Mormons or those pendejos Pentecostals and pose little threat to the Catholic Church. More important, however, Mexis can't get enough of their legendary queso menonita, milky cheese sold across the country that's soft and mild and bueno. They remain the best Europeans to ever invade Mexico, with the exception of the Doors when they toured the country way back cuando.

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DEAR MEXICAN: Your two responses to the recent questions about Mexicans not wanting to migrate legally to the United States and how you would secure our borders couldn't be more guilty of skip-logic. There are a finite number of resources in this country, a finite number of jobs, housing, etc. It has nothing to do with what country you are coming from—if you enter illegally, you are breaking the law, and every day you are here illegally, you are breaking the law. Period. Bringing in drugs, more border guards or fences isn't the issue. You're criminals if you are here illegally. I don't care how crappy the water or housing or whatever in Mexico City is. Be born here, or come here legally; other than that, you are no different from a drunk driver or robber or carjacker. You're breaking the law.

Made in 'Merica

DEAR GABACHO: Except that the crimes you mentioned are usually felonies committed with malice, while the act of entering this country illegally is generally classified as a misdemeanor for the first offense, and the super-vast majority of those initial offenders are coming in for a better life. Please take your Malthusian conspiracies elsewhere, pendejo.

GOOD MEXICAN OF THE WEEK: Is actually a gabacha—Enamorada Gabacha. In 2006, she asked the Mexican how she could calm down her nervous Mexi guy. My response was wisdom for the ages: Give him a blowjob. She just wrote in with an update:

Enamorada Gabacha and her gorgeous, kind, Mexican guy are still together after all these years. We bought a house together not too long after my initial letter to you, so it definitely wasn't a one-night stand or a midnight run to the border. Must have been your marvelous advice! Best of all, my white, Midwestern farm/ranch family loves him because, finally, I got a real man who knows how to work with his hands and build things instead of some dumb white city boy. It's all good!

Gracias for the update—now, go make some beautiful tan babies!

 
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9 comments
Otribj.
Otribj.

Misdemeanor or not, they're still breaking the law. The problem is people of questionable fame and influence i.e. Arrellano and others like him, minimizing the crime, justifying that they come here for a better life. This only serves to encourage other illegals (from any country) to do the same because "Mr. Arrellano says it's only a misdemeanor." Really? It's called aiding and abetting. How many more doors would be opened to them if they would just do it the right way and stay within the law and not live in the shadows, encouraging their children to do the same? And speaking of their children, they learned well. They don't want to apply for citizenship, rather folllowing in their parents footsteps expecting tax payers to pay for their education via the "dream act." At age 7, psychology books say we know the difference between right and wrong, so they aleady know they're illegal. Why at 18 don't they start the process of becoming legal? Probably because it's easier living in the shadows and on the chi-chi of the gov. just like their partents. If people of questionable fame, would encourage illegals to start the citizenship process, to come out of the shadows, that's when the immigration problem will begin to change.

Guest
Guest

I just have to say how much I love interracial relationships. I am in one myself. Exact opposite of your "enamorada gabacha." Been hard for the ol' Mexi-pa but we are making progress! :)

Fred
Fred

Ramene wrote "They came here and didn't ask a sole for permission". No one asked a sole for permission because shoes can't talk.

Besides, mija, the indios didn't believe they owned the land, hence there were no border controls, immigration laws or private ownership of land. So the land couldn't be "stolen" as so many misguided mechistas argue.

And finally thanks to Gabacha Chupando for her comment about "some dumb white city boy" which proves self hating racists come in all colores.

Andale pues.

deportada
deportada

I am just kinda waiting for people like them to go to another country when theirs is as infested with mutilated, hung,skinned, beaten to death bodies (from the so called war on drugs, their stupid people strated anyways) and see from themselves how hard is for children when their parents are thrown out of a country from which they are citizens and have to leave as well after many years of doing things right.......then he can talk to me.

Bill T.
Bill T.

Am I the only one that doesn't understand what responses pendejo 'hecho de basura' is referring to? I read every column and I have never seen anything written by Gustavo suggesting that people wouldn't rather come in legally. Of course this is typical of the no-nothing mentality; make a vague allusion, provide no references to cross-check their claims (usually because there are no authoritative sources) and actually believe that it passes for intelligent commentary. "... Salt of the earth. You know, morons."

Chelseahugs
Chelseahugs

I agree with lechon and may I add how many people get punished or thrown in jail for cheating on their spouses, they are breaking the most important law of all, THE DIVINE LAW OF THE SUPREME BEING. That sooner or later we will all pay. No matter the race or country.

Ramene
Ramene

Every time some gabacho says something stupid about Mexicans I'm waiting for you to enlighten them about how they're CHILDREN of illegals! They came here and didn't ask a sole for permission; just started DOING things. For example, making borders that everyone has to be mindful of. I could go on, but you get my drift.

ShockyJocky
ShockyJocky

The fact that you're upset about my error only makes what was said in the very first line true.

 
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