How Do Mexicans Propose Marriage?

[¡Ask a Mexican!] And why I will finally stop insulting Guatemalans!

DEAR MEXICAN: Why does every Mexican rap/hip-hop song always contain the lyrics "No paramos," "Nunca paramos" or some other logically equivalent statement (e.g., "Siempre avanzaremos," "No acabaremos de seguir," etc.)? Can't you people be more original? I mean, come on! It's not like you all speak a language that makes rhyming particularly difficult, and I'm sure at least one of these barrio-dwellers-turned-rap-star millonarios could find a diccionario de sinónimos and say something more inspired than what I hear repeated on every pinche track. If not, will you please buy one for them? You're a writer. You've got to have one, right?

Dando los Puñetazos a Mis Niñitos

DEAR CHILD-ABUSING GABACHO: You're criticizing the wrong culture. It's hip-hop, not Mexican culture, that has made "No paramos" ("We don't stop") a cliché of the genre since "Rapper's Delight." And the same music form has historically offered lyrical pats on the back for its listeners, whether black or brown or working class, by preaching advancement, solidarity, pride and activism. They're leitmotifs, son, just as all Ramones rip-offs shout "1-2-3-4!" or heavy-metal bands growl whether in Norwegian or Spanish: simple gestures that signify more than their literal meaning and tie them into a long tradition. People: Just because Mexicans do something doesn't make it Mexican! Context, cabrones, CONTEXT!

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DEAR MEXICAN: My novio is Mexican, born in Mexico City. He tells me that in Mexico, women are supposed to propose marriage to men, not the other way around. I don't believe him. Is this true?

Girl Around B-Cup, Alta, Chula and Awesome!

DEAR GABACHA!: Doesn't he wish! In Mexico, the prevailing way to propose marriage remains having the parents of the groom accompany their son to visit his querida's parents so they can pedir la mano the chica—ask for the girl's hand in marriage. It's a tradition steeped in treating women as chattel, as property—but even the most progressive Mexis still do it because it's quaint and also demonstrates an understanding of how marriage involves families and community, not just two individuals. Your guy doesn't want to go through the process? He's either scared, a coward or really a Guatemalan.

 

GOOD MEXICAN OF THE WEEK! Is actually a Guatemalan: Ruben Vives, the Los Angeles Times reporter who helped the paper win a Pulitzer Prize for its investigation of the Southern California city of Bell, a town so corrupt you'da thunk Irishmen ran it. Vives came to this country illegally as a 7-year-old and would've been a DREAM Act student if not for Americans who jumped through bureaucratic hoops to legalize his status. What a wonderful chinga tu madre at the Know Nothings of the world who insist illegals can't make anything of themselves in this country! What a glorious toma, güey to those who say Latinos bring the corruption of their homelands to the United States and endorse it! What a beautiful arriba to those of us who know undocumented youngsters can and do make something of themselves in this country—if only they have a chance! Gracias, Ruben, for reminding America what those who come into this country illegally are capable of. In honor of your monumental victory, I have officially made my last Guatemalan joke: Your people have finally, truly made it in this country. And for the haters who'll inevitably whine about Vives' former illegal status? Welcome to the new normal, pendejos.

 
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14 comments
Leqaf
Leqaf

It's actually just the groom who goes to the girl's parents house.

Jack
Jack

Look, for those of you with the initiative to RTFM, there has always been a complete schedule prioritizing crimes. Murder is not speeding is not illegal entry.

Illegal entry or presence is like trespass for chrissakes. It is not as inherently dangerous to others as speeding. It's what lawyers call a regulatory crime, it's a crime because you drew the line, just like a building code or speed limit. And people are ALWAYS gonna write laws making crimes (like smuggling cigarettes) to monopolize their economic territory.

The real issue is distaste with people who are not (economically) like yourself - when you kick a country's ass, as Cortez and Winfield Scott did, you still have to watch them lest they want to get back at you. What are you gonna do, put them all on haciendas or reservations? And honestly do you want to argue with Ma Nature (as explained by Darwin)?

But it's like Lenny Bruce said, racism depends on who we are talking about - are we talking about Kate Smith, or Lena Horne? Salma Hayek is the most compelling argument for getting along with Messicans since Cortez found them. The pisser is that when you conquer a country and (of course) rape their women, your children are Ma Nature's revenge, and those children always remember however you got along with their mama, and treat you accordingly.

Life's just a bitch, isn't it?

909Jeff
909Jeff

Gustavo Gustavo Gustavo...

The problem is that Mr. Vives is the exception to the rule. And good for him for coming to America working hard getting an education and becomeing gainfully employed!

Im more concerned with the blatant and rediculous bias of your writing... "a town so corrupt you'da thunk Irishmen ran it". Well gustavo, I looked up and provided the names of the guilty parties and wouldnt you know it? Not a single Irishman in the bunch! As a matter of fact looking at their names (You can see their photos here... http://www.ktla.com/news/landi... I detect a distinct trend...

Lets see if you can pick up on it?

George MirabalLuis ArtigaOscar HernandezPierangela SpacciaTeresa JacoboVictor BelloRobert Rizzo

MEXICANS! But you wouldnt dare point that out would you? Again, Mr Vives you are an inspiration. Gustavo, you are still a train wreck!

Tedybar2002
Tedybar2002

I would like to also say that my mother's side of the family where migrant workers, who followed the crops from Texas to Michigan. I am very proud of both facts.

Tedybar2002
Tedybar2002

My Dad was a wet back from Mexico. Came across the river in the late 40's. When the law finally caught up with him, he had a County Judge and the local post master general stand up for him in court. Well, anyway he told that the man had to pay for the wedding and not the brides family. He said, it had be like a family paying to get rid of their daughter."You want my daughter, you have to pay."

Code blue
Code blue

How do Mexican's propose? Usually through the glass during visitation hours.

Pepe
Pepe

So now that the Guatemaltecos are out, who's next?

Why1
Why1

re: Gustavo Gustavo Gustavo...

Very, very well said 909Jeff !!

Slam on GUSTAVO ARELLANO for not checking his facts first!!

As for Ruben Vives, for every one of the good illegal immigrants, how many bad ones are there? Ratio is ? 1000 : 1 And i am including all nationalities, not just Latino.

BTW, i am 50% real Mexican.

Pepe
Pepe

Obviously, humor eludes you.

Bill T.
Bill T.

Because of your family (and thousands others like yours), though growing up poor, I have never gone hungry in this troubled world. Mil gracias!

Pepe
Pepe

Nah... You're thinking of when your daddy beat off to your mommy's titties like that scene from Midnight Express.

Joker805
Joker805

Salvadorians, they seem to have some major pedo with us Mexicans especially here in the Bay Area not sure why?? Pero it either has something to do with Futbol, or because of reasons that are unclear. I never encountered beef like this back in SoCal especially in LA.

feline74
feline74

Belize is also on Mexico's southern border.

 
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