Cat Burglars

[Hey, You!] That bag of herb you stole from my house was catnip, not weed, morons

Matt Bors


Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations--changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent--to Hey, You! c/o OC Weekly, 2975 Red Hill Ave., Ste. 150, Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or e-mail us at

You are the movers who always do a fantastic job packing, loading and unloading my antiques and art. I'm not sure which one of you spotted and filched a half-empty 4-ounce plastic bag full of something green from one of the boxes in my kitchen, but I've looked and looked, and it's the only thing that went missing. Silly boys. The green leafy stuff in that bag was NOT MARIJUANA. It was CATNIP. (You did notice the two cats hiding in the closet while you disassembled my bedroom furniture, right?) I know I should probably report you to the moving company, but the fact of the matter is, I'm simply too amused by the idea of someone stealing catnip, smoking it and then being sorely disappointed in the results. Just don't do it the next time I move.