Tom Tancredo: This Year's Abril Fool!

[¡Ask a Mexican!] Will he live up to the title of Know Nothing?

DEAR READERS: Rather than me punk ustedes with a prank, I give you the cruelest joke of all—ex-congressman and eternal Know Nothing Tom Tancredo! In return for him graciously allowing us to debate in Denver last year, I've allowed him to answer two questions of my picking, with no editorial interference from me, save my intro and conclusion (so all the wacky stats he pulls out are his and his alone). See you at the end of the columna for my Good Mexican of the Week—take it, Tom!

DEAR MEXICAN: Why do legal Mexican immigrants feel the need to make sure their criminal counterparts stay here and receive things they, the legal immigrants, had to work so hard to receive legally?

Insert Derogatory Nickname About Me Here, Hopefully Something Witty

Details

Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter or ask him a video question at youtube.com/askamexicano!

DEAR AMERICAN: I suspect the question may be a sardonic one. It subtly suggests that critics of illegal entry like myself wrongly consider all illegal aliens "criminals," while legal Mexican immigrants do not see them that way. I think that suggestion is an oversimplification and an attempt at stereotyping. Actually, the idea that all Americans of Mexican descent welcome illegal interlopers is a misconception created by a fawning liberal media and advocacy organizations with a political agenda. Second-, third- and fourth-generation Mexican immigrants are divided on the question of welcoming all illegal border jumpers, and it's dangerous to overgeneralize about their views.

Many legal immigrants—and even many U.S.-born citizens of Mexican heritage—have a grandfather or aunt or uncle who also arrived illegally a decade ago or in the 1970s. Few immigrants of any nationality want to see a relative or good neighbor deported. But this natural sympathy can be stretched only so far. That sympathy does not extend to the criminal class among the illegal-alien population, which is estimated to be as high as 10 percent. About 25 percent of convicted felons in the Phoenix jail are illegal aliens, and we do know that in the Tucson sector of the Border Patrol, about 15 percent of border trespassers apprehended have criminal records–criminal records in the United States!

Yes, anyone who crosses the border without authorization is breaking the law and, if apprehended anywhere inside the U.S., can and should be deported whether or not they have broken other laws. This happens to be not only my opinion, but also the opinion of about 75 percent of the American public. It is also the view of thousands of legal Mexican immigrants and Latino citizens who see good jobs being lost to illegal persons who will work for less. So, let's acknowledge that the views of legal Mexican residents are complex and run the gamut. Stereotyping them as having a single view is not flattering to them or to the poser of the question.

DEAR MEXICAN: Why do Mexican radio DJs insist on having that Mickey Mouse high-pitched voice and automated laughter track? Do they assume most Mexican listeners are so stupid they have to be reminded when to laugh and that we need a child-like character to induce the laughter? Just seems silly and wrong to me.

Radiola On

DEAR AMERICAN: First off, that voice isn't actually Mickey Mouse—it's an illegal-alien impersonator who offered to do the voice-over cheaper than Mickey would. The reason they play the high-pitched voice isn't because migrant workers are obtuse; it's just that oftentimes, they can't hear the substance of the original joke over the sounds of the nail guns and clanking plates at the restaurants and construction sites where they are illegally working.

GOOD MEXICAN OF THE WEEK! Okay, cabrones, it's your Mexican again! Wasn't Tom fun? Okay, maybe not, and that's why we have the Colorado Immigrant Rights Coalition, which challenges Tancredo and his ilk every step of the paseo with stats, rallies and undocumented college students obtaining their degrees. Support the mensches at www.coloradoimmigrant.org.

This column appeared in print as "Special April Fools' Edición."

 
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14 comments
zhenglishu
zhenglishu

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zhenglishu
zhenglishu

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zhenglishu
zhenglishu

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Zhenglish48
Zhenglish48

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Zhenglish46

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Zhenglish46

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Deportgustabo
Deportgustabo

thanks for giving us a break from the usual racist crap that you always post on your blog, gustabo.

Vigiltvig
Vigiltvig

In the imortal words of Carlos Mencias; 'Fuck that Puto"

MariaL
MariaL

Now that racist Gustavo is teaching his hate at UCLA.Somebody report his racist ass.

Lucha Libre
Lucha Libre

Thats it! Tancredo got your job. He actually addressed the issues rather than "gustavo" them (read: give a flippant one sentence answer with a gratuitous anti-white slur thrown in).

Arell-anus, please hand over your keys on the way out. The korean taco trucks are hiring or you can get your old job as towel boy in the gay bathhouse back.

together
together

He was funny! but want to see some counter stats!

G. Campos
G. Campos

Think that was George Lopez, not Mencia.

DubV
DubV

It's all cynical miss Maria, if you have read the books and follow the column its a tongue in cheek perspective of reporting on important issues such as racism and immigration... opinions are completely our own regardless of the way it is presented.. At least you're reading, listening. whatever... PEACE

DubV
DubV

Homophobic Kogi Taco Loving Tancredo Team Member? Definitely

 
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