The Year's Best .COMments

Every week in 2010, on the same page as our staff box, we printed the funniest, freakiest, fucked-upest comments from the past week’s posts on our three blogs. Here are the best of our .COMments—or worst, depending on how you look at it.

GOOD GRIEF! IMAGINE THAT FREAK COMING AT YOU WITH HIS PANTS DOWN!
Juni Solomon responding to Gustavo Arellano’s Jan. 25 Navel Gazing post “ESPN Ignores Mater Dei Hoops Coach Gary McKnight’s Rapist-Coddling Past

 

You people are nuttier than a fruit cake. The devil is not rampaging around, causing all your problems and forcing Captain Combover and his wife into divorce court. I would think Beelzebub would have bigger, more important fish to fry if he were indeed on the rampage.
Ginger responding to the comments to Matt Coker’s Feb. 26 Navel Gazing post “Benny Hinn Goes On Air to Counter Estranged Wife

 

Does anybody even care about Guinness World Records anymore?? Last time I opened one of their books up was to see the world’s biggest breasts when I was 10.
Mr. Justin responding to the comments on Edwin Goei’s March 12 Stick a Fork In It post “Today: Buca Di Beppo’s Filling a Swimming Pool With Spaghetti

 

Not so sure how I feel about her eating cat meat in another country. Like, it’s okay as long as you do it somewhere else. I once stomped on a kitten, but it was in France.
Diamond Dog responding to Dave Lieberman’s April 7 Stick a Fork In It post “Delia Snyder of Don the Beachcomber, Part 2

 

If I were a parent, I’d pack a Taser with my child’s lunch.
Brian responding to Spencer Kornhaber’s May 7 Navel Gazing post “Man Accused of ‘Annoying’ Children on Bus Arrested

 

I’ve got a whippet named Devo (get it?). A few of those in the neighborhood, and your rabbit problem is solved.
Kaonashi responding to Matt Coker’s June 11 Navel Gazing post “Be Vewy Vewy Quiet, Mission Viejo Is Hunting Wabbits

 

Okay . . . I’m going to ask because it seems no one else will: Is she hot?
Sal responding to Spencer Kornhaber’s July 14 Navel Gazing post “Did a High-School Secretary Host Beer-Pong Parties for Students?

 

I’m a nurse, and we get way too many cases of anal injuries because of butt sex. If the gays can get married, they’ll have SO MUCH BUTT SEX! That means more work for me. I’m too lazy for all that.
Lizette responding to Matt Coker’s Aug. 16 Navel Gazing post “California Gay Marriages Banned Indefinitely

 

I’m right there with you on the hot ink show working the register. That’s not heresy, just hormones.
Shuji Sakai responding to Gustavo Arellano’s Sept. 2 Stick a Fork In It post “Battle Beloved Chain Burger: T.K. Burgers vs. In-N-Out!

 

I just found the center portion of my Human Centipede.
Dr. Heiter responding to Gustavo Arellano’s Sept. 16 Navel Gazing post “Five Reasons Why Orange County Should Thank Mexico Today

 

We ought to have an additional charge for FAILING at the attempt. Nobody likes an incompetent.
Schadenfreude responding to Matt Coker’s Sept. 24 Navel Gazing post “Elizabeth Cuevas Villanueva and Her Ice Pick May Prove She’s Craziest Ex-GF Ever

 

NOW it’s the Tragic Kingdom.
B-Dog responding to Vickie Chang’s Oct. 18 Navel Gazing post “Man Commits Suicide By Jumping Off Mickey & Friends Parking Structure at Disneyland

 

Someone is going to reward me for what I do in the privacy of my living room?!
Whackney Houston responding to Edwin Goei’s Oct. 27 Stick a Fork In It post “Food Truck Hosts Nutella-Eating Contest Next Week

 

That’s like Einstein debating Britney Spears . . . and Gustavo, you ain’t Einstein.
GA SOON TO BE UNEMPLOYED BEANER responding to Gustavo Arellano’s Nov. 10 Navel Gazing post “Gustavo to Debate Tom Tancredo About Immigration in Denver Next Week!

 

There’s AA, Alcoholics Anonymous. Now there’s going to be CAA, the Cream Alcoholics Anonymous. My name is Vinnie, and I’m a cream alcoholic.
Vinnie responding to Dave Lieberman’s Dec. 2 Stick a Fork In It post “Dairy Devilment: CREAM vs. Homemade Alcohol-Infused Whipped Cream

 

“Dangling breastices.” Hahahahaha. OMG, Matt. You are the “bestices,” and I totally [heart] you.
Pickles responding to Matt Coker’s Dec. 14 Navel Gazing post “Have Yourself a Merry Little Octo-Xmas

 
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