A Rhetorical Paddling

[Hey, You!] Can't stand those paddlers

Hey, “standup paddler”—or “SUP”or, what I prefer, “stupid unedgemicated peckerhead”: For years, we had our South County beach all to ourselves. A little slice of heaven by an old nuclear-power plant. Surf wasn’t the best there, but an uncrowded and cool vibe existed—until you and your SUP buddies showed up. You have to drive that F-350 Diesel that takes up three parking places, and on an XL surf day, leading edge of that 35-pound board that is 9 feet long with a 9-foot leash is now 18 feet away from you—and headed right toward me! The state park allows you to surf there by law—but you lack the skills to do so safely. On top of all that, you are “dropping in” on every other surfer. They say “SUP” is only a fad that will pass. I truly hope so.

Matt Bors

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to “Hey, You!” c/o OC Weekly, 2975 Red Hill Ave., Ste. 150, Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or e-mail us at letters@ocweekly.com.

 
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