OC's Scariest People

Crypt from the headlines, here are our annual 31 flavors of fiendishness

28. ALEXANDRIA CORONADO
Back in 2009, Coronado—then on the Orange County Board of Education—led her fellow trustees to unanimously vote against recognizing Harvey Milk Day in Orange County’s public schools, despite a state law that set aside May 22 for such institutions to teach kiddies about the gay-rights martyr. She said the day of remembrance “absolutely denigrates the entire civil-rights movement,” a movement she denigrated back in the late 1990s when she and her then-fellow trustees on the Anaheim Union High School District Board tried to sue Mexico for the cost of teaching the children of illegal immigrants. Coronado used her opposition to Harvey Milk Day as a re-election platform this summer, but the anti-gay bait didn’t work—she lost handily to a first-time political candidate.
MITIGATING FACTOR:
Coronado’s love of heavy makeup and lipstick makes her a natural for bartending at the Tin Lizzie.

29. JAMES HIRSEN
Whether writing columns for newsmax.com; blogging on his The Left Coast Report; or punditing on Hannity, O’Reilly and Fox and Friends, the Newport Beach entertainment lawyer consistently delivers anti-Hollywood rants. Among Hirsen’s pet pets is Sarah Palin, whom Hirsen defended after Tina Fey impersonated her, Katie Couric interviewed her and other perceived elitist-left-wing-media types supposedly slighted her. Hirsen also pumps Alaska’s former governor for president (talk about scary!). Now, normally, we would not bat an iPhone at someone who confines his crazy to Fox News, but in June, he waded into local waters by addressing the Orange County Screenwriters Association, a nonprofit organization formed to help amateur and professional writers and filmmakers pool their talents to help one another.
MITIGATING FACTOR:
He’s not as annoying as Hugh Hewitt.

30. JOSEPH SZELES
Until he became the subject of a Weekly exposé (see Nick Schou's “The Bad Detective,” March 11), the private investigator ran a one-man show for Orange County’s Alternate Defense Services. That meant that any county inmate crazy enough to act as his own lawyer had little choice but to hire Szeles as an investigator for his case. Unlike other court systems, which use a broad panel of investigators, Szeles had free rein in the county, handling new clients at the rate of roughly one per week and apparently doing little to show for all that cash besides allegedly boasting he could arrange plea deals thanks to his contacts in the DA’s office.
MITIGATING FACTOR:
At least he’s no longer a cop; turns out Szeles became a private detective after being fired from the Riverside County Sheriff’s Department for beating up his stepdaughter and lying about it.

31. RACIST ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER READERS
If you happen to read our Navel Gazing column “Racist OC Register Reader Fustercluck of the Day,” you already know their names: Liberalssuck, Wickedwhite, Obamafuscation, 30yearsinOC, Trojan714 and so many more. These pseudonymous knuckleheads love nothing more than to scan the Register for headlines containing words such as “Mexico,” “immigration,” “Santa Ana” and “by Yvette Cabrera” so they can spew tiresome stereotypes about Latinos and whine incessantly about how Orange County has been taken over by “illegals” who “spew anchor babies” and stab one another—actually that latter activity is the one thing these racists speak about with grateful appreciation.
MITIGATING FACTOR: Ever since Fustercluck began highlighting their hateful drivel and the Register stepped up its censorship efforts, you can find even-more-racist comments on the Navel Gazing blog.

 

This article appeared in print as "Crypt From the Headlines: Welcome to the 2010 issue of Scariest People comics."

 

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