By Charles Lam
By R. Scott Moxley
By Taylor Hamby
By Matt Coker
By R. Scott Moxley
By Charles Lam
By LP Hastings
By Taylor Hamby
22. AMERICAN THIRD POSITION PARTY
For right-wingers who think the Tea Party is too multicultural, the American Third Position (ATP) party is for you! An alliance of neo-Nazi “intellectuals” (including Cal State Long Beach professor Kevin McDonald, whose books and essays claiming Jews want to undermine Western civilization have been cited by white supremacists for decades, and lawyer William Johnson, who became notorious in the 1980s for promoting the Pace Amendment, a proposed constitutional rewrite that would deport all non-whites from the United States) and outright criminals (such as its treasurer Sean Vaxmonsky, who has five misdemeanors to his name for everything from robbery to drunk driving), the Fountain Valley-based political party debuted earlier this year to much notoriety as an whites-only alternative to the Republicans and Democrats. Despite much self-hype, however, the party hasn’t rocked the political world: Its biggest brush with national fame came when ATP urged its members to donate funds toward helping defend Arizona’s Senate Bill 1070, and the PAC sent it back. Total amount these brown-shirters collected? $100. Even an out-of-work Mexican in Santa Ana has more in his mattress than that.
MITIGATING FACTOR: Given current demographic trends, ATP members will probably have a half-Mexican grandchild.
23. SUZIE GRAF
Days after the devastating Jan. 12 earthquake in Haiti, a local paper admiringly profiled this self-described San Clemente housewife’s valiant effort to collect storage containers full of medical supplies, blankets and other donated items to ship to the beleaguered Caribbean nation. More than a few people who read that story, however, remembered Graf as an inveterate con artist who’d over the years swindled everyone from close friends to employers and business customers of untold thousands of dollars, a bad habit involving credit-card fraud and other felonies that eventually landed her in Wyoming state prison.
MITIGATING FACTOR: After the Weekly exposed her shady past, Graf tearfully insisted this time—for the first time ever—she really was doing the right thing, and as far as we were able to tell, the containers actually did arrive in Haiti.
24. LUIS MIJANGOS
Marvel Comics superhero Professor X is a paraplegic mutant with an advanced mind capable of controlling the thoughts of others. He also happens to be idolized by accused Santa Ana sextortionist Luis Mijangos. A criminal complaint filed in federal court alleges the 31-year-old paraplegic used his advanced hacking skills to infect the computers of 44 girls and 186 women with malware that granted him access to their files. He rummaged through said files looking for compromising images and used what he found to blackmail the victims into sending him sexually explicit videos of themselves. The FBI also says Mijangos successfully accessed his victims’ web cams to spy on them without their knowledge during naked moments.
MITIGATING FACTOR: If Vivid Entertainment ever wants to do an X-Men parody, Mijangos can star as Professor Sex.
25. JOHN EASTMAN
Eastman is intelligent and well-read and not, at least outwardly, of Neanderthal origins, so it’s frightening how a man who has served as the dean of Chapman University School of Law this year encouraged a crowd of conservative California Republican activists to overthrow the government if it permits the “insufferable”: allowing gay citizens to marry. Was it an innocent misstatement under duress during his campaign to become the state’s next attorney general? Nope. Speaking slowly for emphasis, Eastman followed up by proudly telling the crowd, “I ain’t evolving.” He has also equated homosexuality with “barbarism.” Maybe we were wrong about his origins.
MITIGATING FACTOR: In the June primary, Steve Cooley—the Los Angeles County district attorney—beat Eastman by 275,000 votes for the Republican nomination for AG.
26. TITO ORTIZ
Few would want to meet the self-proclaimed “Huntington Beach Bad Boy” in a darkened alley, let alone in an Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) octagon. But the former UFC light-heavyweight champ really displayed the scary in April, when he was jailed on suspicion of felony domestic violence for roughing up the mother of his twin sons, former porn star Jenna Jameson. She said he threw her into a bathtub, tearing two ligaments. He said former OxyContin addict Jameson had suffered a relapse. Both eventually recanted—and the Orange County DA declined to file charges for lack of evidence—after the couple claimed the whole incident was just a misunderstanding. Perhaps the couple was spooked by a most-frightening prospect: that they could lose $15 million under Ortiz’s UFC contract if he were prosecuted for domestic violence.
MITIGATING FACTOR: He won’t kick our ass for listing him—we hope. . . .
27. JIM HICKS
Back when he was a college student in the early 1970s, Jim Hicks used to hear horror stories about hippies from his dad, Cecil Hicks, who served as Orange County’s district attorney. Hicks the Elder supervised a grand-jury investigation that ended the reign of the Laguna Beach-based drug-smuggling cartel, the Brotherhood of Eternal Love—until its members, who served only brief stints behind bars, went straight back into the smuggling business. Some were never caught, including Brenice Smith, who fled to Nepal, where he lived for nearly 40 years before returning home to California in November 2009. That’s when Hicks the Younger—who followed in his father’s footsteps and became a prosecutor—prolonged his retirement for one last case: making sure Smith, now a penniless, 70-year old Buddhist, faced time for a four-decades-old hash-smuggling case.
MITIGATING FACTOR: After Smith spent two months at the Orange County Men’s Jail and pleaded guilty to one felony smuggling count, Hicks agreed to let him go with time served and no probation.