Filming My Butt Is No Joke

To the fanny filmer at Trader Joe’s: Technology is a great thing. In fact, I used it to find YOU. If I ever see you with your camera phone anywhere near my backside again, I will waste no time putting your name and face on every social-networking site and light pole in the city of Long Beach. Enjoy the turkey jerky!

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Matt Bors

This column appeared in print with the headline "This Butt Is No Joke."