So Long Beach just recently changed a former driving lane into a bike lane, and I admit that I was mistakenly driving my Volvo station wagon in this brand-new (and hardly marked) bike lane when I was on my way to Kitchen Outfitters in Naples the other day. But then you decided to be an ass about it when you followed me over to the store. You came into the shop griping loudly that you almost got run down by some yahoo (apparently me) driving like a wild man in the bike lane that you suddenly love more than your firstborn—because it makes you feel safe getting into your car parked along the curb—that is, until some crazy moron (me) almost ran you down and killed you, and you hope that idiot (me) gets a really expensive ticket. Seriously, was all that necessary? I just want you to know that I flipped you off when you left. And by the way, I thought the bike lane was supposed to be for bikes, not crotchety old men who can’t deal with a little traffic while trying to get into their cars.
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