[Hey, You!] She's Crafty! She's Always a Downer!

Matt Bors

You’re the big, fat, evil jewelry vendor at the Seal Beach Arts and Crafts Faire. Next time someone comes by asking you questions about your wares, you might consider graciously answering them. No, I wasn’t there to steal the esoteric secrets of your great art. I was genuinely curious about your craft, trying to picture how it was done. I was completely ready to lay down 40 bucks for a couple of pairs of your earrings. But after a few curt answers to my innocent, friendly questions you finally spat out, “I’m not going to sit here and give you a lesson—go ask your teacher!” How humiliating for you. You not only lost a sale from me but also potentially from all the people around you who were staring and shaking their heads, appalled at your response. Get some therapy, you bitter old cow.

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