By On the occasion of our 20th anniversary
By Gustavo Arellano
By R. Scott Moxley
By Alfonso Delgado
By Courtney Hamilton
By Joel Beers
By Peter Maguire
By Charles Lam
“Are you ready to proceed?” Conley asked Maryland last week.
A courteous voice coming from the man wearing an orange jump suit said he wasn’t ready because jail deputies had violated Conley’s court order and refused him access to law books for three weeks. Never mind that the unresolved legal issue—Did Maryland cause great bodily injury in a previous assault case?—isn’t exactly complex, Maryland asked to delay the hearing until mid-September. He needed time to study the law books, he explained. The look on Conley’s face said, “nice try.” A hearing was set for July 24.
Maryland nodded, smiled, thanked the judge and turned to Deputy District Attorney Lynda Fernandez, who was soon to take maternity leave. “Best wishes, Lynda,” he said. Fernandez must have recalled the terrifying case: During a four-day drug binge, Maryland repeatedly beat his wife; whipped her buttocks, stomach, legs and face with a metal coat hanger; dragged her around the apartment by her hair (ripping out huge clumps); strangled her to the point of unconsciousness three times; raped her in multiple ways; threatened to kill her; burned and cut her vagina; promised to slit her throat with a butcher’s knife and stab her genitals with scissors so that no other man would ever desire her again; bound her to a futon with panty hose; and made her beg for sodomy.
“Your honor,” Maryland told Conley, “I’ve created a nonprofit charity.”
The judge looked up from his paperwork.
“It’s called Mad Men Inc., and it’s dedicated to ending domestic violence.”
“Good,” said an unconvinced-looking Conley.
What is Maryland’s idea? To open “escape houses” for people on the verge of committing domestic violence. In a letter to the Weekly, he said he’ll “immediately” end domestic violence. But to start, he wants the public to send cash donations to him. According to Maryland, “This plan is phenomenal.”
IT’S YOUR MOENY, BUT THE GOVERNMENT SPENDS IT
Despite the fact that governments throughout OC are struggling with declining revenues and chopping key programs, the city of Irvine’s Great Park Corp. spent $72,000 in public funds for “decorative banners” promoting the balloon that itself promotes the yet-to-be-built park.