[Hey, You!] Ambulance Chasers

Matt Bors

This goes out to the punk or punks who thought it was really funny to steal a laptop from an ambulance. I hope you are caught and beaten down. I hope you know you have made two great people lose their jobs and that you are now in illegal possession of “government” property. The two drivers who are now out of work due to your dumb ass may have been people who have helped your family. These are people who put others before themselves, and in return, they get assholes like you, thinking it’s great to take stuff that doesn’t belong to you. This stupid prank you pulled will only make you look more of a dumbass when you find out that when you try to sell it for money, it will be tracked, or if you even show it to your friends, they will squeal on your stupid ass, and you will get caught and go to prison. I just hope I can be there when this happens. When you get caught, you will be thrown behind bars for many, many years. I hope that someone named Bubba takes a liking to you. Damn, I can hear you now, squealing like the pig you are.

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to “Hey, You!” c/o OC Weekly, 2975 Red Hill Ave., Ste. 150, Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or e-mail us at letters@ocweekly.com.