[Hey, You!] Out, Damned Spots!

Matt Bors

You were the lady carrying a red-polka-dotted baby into the bathroom at Nordstrom in South Coast Plaza on the Saturday before Mother’s Day. You thought it was considerate to ask me if I had had the chicken pox, since I’m eight months pregnant and you apparently didn’t want me to get the disease. How thoughtful of you. Just FYI, and I’m sure your pediatrician told you this, the baby was contagious from two days before the blisters appeared until all of them were crusted over. I didn’t examine your baby, but they looked pretty fresh and bright-red from 2 feet away. Fortunately, I’ve already had it. However, why on earth would you bring your spotted, listless offspring to the mall on an incredibly busy shopping day?! What if there were elderly people who haven’t yet had the pox, and they end up dying? What about the comfort of the sick baby? I mean, seriously, did you HAVE to go to the mall? If you end up with the flu, will you be one of those people who goes to work so you can spread it? Just freakin’ stay home!!!

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