Scots Fest

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• Cinco de Mayo
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You’re always pretending to be Irish on St. Patrick’s Day and Mexican on Cinco de Mayo, and since you’re such a poser, you really should next attempt to be a Highlander (aye, the quickening!). So, fasten on your best brogue accent, slip into a kilt (without knickers, boys), suck down some traditional single malt scotch and pretend you actually know what’s going on as border collies herd sheep. Depending on how much scotch you’ve had, you’ll soon be jigging and reeling around to awesome Celtic bands, drummers, bagpipers and tartan-swathed dancing maids, trying to trace your roots back to some notorious clan. And the more you drink, the easier it will be.
Sat., May 23, 9 a.m.; Sun., May 24, 9 a.m., 2009