La Habra Octomom Nadya Suleman Is Ready to Rocto Your World

With her new reality TV network, Nadya Suleman is ready to
Rocto Your World

Just when you thought La Habra’s own Nadya “Octomom” Suleman was out of the news for good . . .

On May 4, Los Angeles attorney Gloria Allred filed suit against Suleman, alleging that the multimom had signed a deal for a reality-TV show. Allred is seeking to have a guardian appointed for Suleman’s octo-brood to manage the money she says Suleman will make by exploiting her clan for TV.

Asked on-camera by a reporter whether she had entered into plans for reality programming involving her children, Suleman laughed and gave one of her signature, pink-lipped mommy pouts: “As far as I’m concerned, I haven’t entered into anything,” she said, smiling. “I haven’t signed anything. I haven’t signed anything at all.” Moments earlier, she’d railed against Allred and the lawsuit in the same clip: “People are opportunists; they just want to be in the spotlight.”

Suleman’s attorney Jeff Czech has acknowledged that he and Suleman have in fact been in talks with production companies, but he told the AP last week that no contracts have been signed “and no laws broken.” Czech noted that talks have included contracts for documentaries, reality programming and children’s programming.

Little did anyone know that the real plan was for all of the above.

Late last week, the Weekly received a thick ream of documents and publicity materials from a source who once worked for Suleman, detailing bold plans for a series of reality-TV shows involving Suleman, her children and even her fertility doctor. The source, who asked to remain anonymous, says she’s worried that if Allred’s lawsuit fails, the children will be subjected to a life of scrutiny and abuse under the camera’s eye.

Materials turned over to the Weekly—at a late-night meeting behind a stack of Graco SnugRide boxes near the loading dock of the Babies R Us at the Westminster Mall—include pilot logos, publicity stills and transcripts. They reveal that not only have reality-TV deals been sealed, but also that Suleman, who filed two applications to trademark the word “Octomom” in mid-April (one for use on baby products and clothing, and the other to use in connection with reality-TV programming), has green-lighted the creation of a series of reality shows that will air on her own network, tentatively called “OctoGyn.”

While the corporate backers of the venture remain unknown, according to some heavily redacted internal memos we obtained, eight pilots are scheduled to air this fall on the new network, which is being designed as “a cross between the Wedding Channel, Oh! and Animal Planet, only with babies instead of meerkats.” According to the materials, the eventual goal is for the network to air a whopping 14 shows—a request apparently made by Suleman personally, so that the project can reflect “the many, many, many, many pieces of me.” Suleman declined repeated requests for comment from the Weekly regarding the planned network and TV shows.

The materials obtained by the Weekly detail a range of shows that mirror some of reality TV’s biggest hits, but with an Octo twist. The summaries and snippets of transcripts included are apparently from the first eight pilots of the season, which are in production or soon will be, according to the source.

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OCTOGYN NETWORK, “The Mother of All Reality Channels”

Fall Preview

The Biggest Gainer
“When the stakes are high, a breast can only give so much milk.”

No mortal woman could physically feed all the mouths in the Suleman house, but Nadya’s mammaries—pinched by implants inserted at age 18—emit only a paltry trickle. And so, it’s survival of the fittest for the babies, who must compete for a limited supply of nutrients to reach a healthy weight by the time they are 6 months old. Watch as the Octobabies fight over their daily milk and see who gets left behind. Will baby No. 4 go hungry? Why is baby No. 7 so chubby? Does Nadya love baby No. 8 more than the rest? A mother’s love—and her milk—can only go so far. After months of vying for her attention, babies begin to go missing, clean diapers are replaced with not-so-clean diapers, and Nadya’s bras begin to disappear, only to be discovered buried in the back yard. . . . Are her nurses playing dirty tricks on her? Or are the “other” kids revolting?


America’s Top Mom
“It’s not purging—it’s morning sickness!”

Beautiful, young and emboldened by her baby brood, Nadya Suleman has come clean: She wants to be a model and will stop at nothing to make her dream come true. Follow Suleman as she enlists the aid of Hollywood fashionistas Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton (don’t miss the Very Special Episode about the whole sex-tape thing) and Project Runway designer Christian Siriano for the ultimate Mommy Makeover. What will Nadya do when Playboy comes knocking with an enticing centerfold offer? Will she be the first Octomom featured in the magazine?

[From the pilot transcript]

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