[Hey, You!] Don't Drinko and Drivo

Matt Bors

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• Traffic Accidents

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Don’t Drinko and Drivo

Look, cabrón: I’m all viva la raza and shit. But you’re a disgrace to all fat Mexican men. First off, don’t drink and drive. If you do, don’t drive during the day. If you do, don’t crash into a car. If you do, don’t hit-and-run. If you do, don’t abandon your car right before an entrance to Interstate 5. If you do, don’t take off running. If you do, don’t run into oncoming traffic. If you do, don’t throw up on the doorstep of a house. And, finally, if you do all of what I said you shouldn’t, don’t end your escapade by finding a lawn, laying down on it and promptly going to sleep. Pendejo.