I laughed. I was browsing swimsuit selections online at the time. But hey, at least he didn’t have to worry about his boogers freezing over whenever he stepped outside, a phenomenon he’d complained about before. (The proper term for a booger is rhinoplith. Now you also know why everyone just uses booger instead.)
So stores and magazines are beginning to drastically mark down the prices of winter clothing, attempting to ease us into spring weather with strappy sandals and miniskirts.
And since we’ve had maybe two total weeks of winter weather, it actually doesn’t feel too weird this year browsing tank-top selections in February.
Even Target’s got racks and racks of swimsuits set up in stores already—with evidence of a startling trend that’s been rising in popularity since spring 2005: the one-piece.
The non-bikini made its first big splash in the public eye with (sigh) Paris Hilton’s Carl’s Jr. advertisement. The black suit with the plunging neckline Hilton wore while writhing on a car was hardly conservative, thus introducing the world to the concept of the sexy one-piece. Soon after that, the five Desperate Housewives graced the cover of Vanity Fair with their own one-pieces, and it was a done deal.
Even swimsuit lines aimed at the youth crowd are weighing in with their own versions now, like a patterned piece by InSight, available on 80spurple.com for $84.
However, just because the one-piece covers up more of you, that doesn’t also necessarily mean it’s flattering for your figure. It works the same way with skintight shirts and muffin tops. Not so good.
There is one option that I swear looks great on all body types. Every gal wants to look like a million bucks in a suit. And if doesn’t matter if you’re curvy or stick-thin, have DDs or As, chances are the ’50s-inspired swimsuit will look awesome on you.
Designer Norma Kamali caused a stir with his $350 Bill halter-top one-piece swimsuit with a classic ruched sheath. The thigh-reaching sheath is the key here: It helps conceal and enhance anything you’re missing or anything you might think you have too much of.
But the better alternative? RetroDress.com’s $60 Esther Williams suit (pictured) is every bit as cute, wonderful and slimming. The quality’s still top-notch and the look is going to remain in style for years to come.