Recession-Friendly Strippers

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Wintertime can be rough when you don’t have someone special to snuggle with on these cold, rainy nights. Depression sets in, followed shortly by weight gain and excessive drinking. All of which are made worse by the fact that none of the attractive ladies are checking you out­—and you don’t blame them. It seems like this dreariness will never end...Until you walk into your friendly neighborhood gentlemen’s club. Nothing boosts sexual self-esteem like strippers. They’re paid to be nice to you. And who’s got a problem with some boobies in your face, huh? Nobody. Hell, even holier-than-thou Reverend Rick Warren has written about viewing Internet porn, and if he can openly enjoy his sexual fantasies, there’s no reason why you can’t pay some “struggling college students” to make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. And if you’d like to experience said emotions without adding “broke” to the list of things wrong with you, Imperial Showgirls is the place to be. This Tuesday, they’ve got half-price lap dances and free entry from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.
Tue., Feb. 17, 11 a.m., 2009