The Best Posts of 2008, Direct From the Weekly's Parallel Universe

Year of the Blog
The best posts of 2008, direct from the Weekly’s parallel universe

What, you haven’t been reading our blogs? You know, those piles of pixels we painstakingly piece together at ocweekly.com? Well, you’ve been missing out. On our Heard Mentality music blog, we’re covering Orange County sounds and beyond, weeding out the righteous from the ridiculous (speaking of, are Sugar Ray still around?). On Stick a Fork In It, our still-smelling-like-new food blog (birthed this past September), we’ve got reviews, restaurant news and random Taco Bell crimes not named “Mexican Pizza.” And there’s our most hopping blog, Navel Gazing, where we’re clickety-clacking breaking news, getting cats out of trees, rescuing puppies from abusive owners, bashing the ever-bashable suspects who like to think they run Orange County (as well as pedo-priests, The Orange County Register—speaking of, is that still around?—9/11 conspiracy types, Armenian Genocide deniers . . . this could take all day), and holding re-naming contests for SanTana Mayor Miguel Pulido (now known as “Papi”) and Mike Carona’s penis (formerly known as “The Little Sheriff,” which now must be called “The Little Debbie Snack”).

Since our first issue in 1995, we’ve been proclaiming we’re the go-to pub for OC stories you won’t find anywhere else. We’re proud to say that still holds true—it’s just that you’re ever-more-likely to read them first on our blogs. Even better, we invite reader feedback there, so if something a Weekly scribe writes pisses you off, you can tell them right to their digital face. Join us, won’t you?

What follows are excerpts from some of our better posts of 2008, along with, in some cases, reader comments.

MORE QUOTES FROM LOUIE PEREZ OF LOS LOBOS
Posted by Gustavo Arellano, Heard Mentality, Jan. 18
On the first time he ate in Anaheim Hills: “I went to Esperanza Burgers, and I saw a photo of white guys on horses with baseball bats. I started getting freaked out until realizing it was the Esperanza High baseball team and that Yorba Linda and Anaheim Hills have a lot of people who own horses. I had to tell myself, ‘Louie, don’t get so fucking paranoid about things.’”

About living in Orange County: “I always lived in places where I’m not supposed to live. All the neighbors wherever I’ve lived tend to look and say, ‘Hey, who is this guy?’ My job is to educate them that Mexicans don’t carry bandannas and switchblades all the time—just some of the time.”

 

THE “REAL” HOUSEWIVES OF ORANGE COUNTY—THE END!
Posted by Amanda Parsons, Navel Gazing, Jan. 23
Back in Coto, Jeana throws a “goodbye to television” party, and all of the housewives are invited, even Jo, a housewife from last season. Vicki walks in and gets shitfaced right off the bat, as usual. Her daughter has to tell her to stop drinking because she is acting like a floozy, and Vicki decides to yell, “She doesn’t like it when I get drunk, and I usually don’t.” Sure. Keep telling yourself that.

The whole party is abuzz with chatter about Vicki’s drunkenness and Jo’s career. Apparently, Jo is performing at the Anaheim Grove later that evening, and everyone is super-proud.

“Maybe she is the opener for the opener of the opener or something,” Vicki’s daughter says.

“Or maybe she is parking the cars,” Vicki’s husband, Donn, answers. Ha! I love Donn. And apparently Jeana and Quinn love Donn, too, because they are both throwing themselves at the poor bastard while his drunk wife hits on the waiter.

Ah, the drama continues—but from here on out, we won’t be subjected to it. We will have only our imaginations to see how the rest of these spoiled bimbos’ lives play out. I don’t know about you, but I am imagining a mass suicide. Sweet release.

Sara says: I hate that everyone is attacking Vicki, though she is amazing, hard-working, fun and great. Just because she likes to party and make money doesn’t make her a bad person.

[Note: Sadly, The Real Housewives of Orange County was renewed for another season.]

 

MTV’S BEST AMERICAN DANCE CREW: KABA MODERN
Posted by Vickie Chang, Navel Gazing, Jan. 28

Though UC Irvine hip-hop dance team Kaba Modern have been making a name for themselves in underground circles and national and global competitions for some years now, it looks like they’ll finally be getting the mainstream attention they deserve. Randy Jackson Presents America’s Best Dance Crew is MTV’s latest foray into the bizarrely popular reality-dance-competition phenom. The show has scoured America for the best street and studio dance crews, and they’ve narrowed it down to just 12—including Kaba Modern. Kaba’s made it past the tough audition phase of the show, facing a panel of judges that includes JC Chasez and Shane Sparks and, uh, host Mario Lopez, but now they’ve got to go up against some of America’s best . . . but that’s nothing they’re not already used to.

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