Receive Weekly Email and Text Message Updates:
Sign up for latest info on concerts, dining, promotions and more!
Go!

National Features >

  • Village Voice

    The Great Walls of Chinatown

    With the exception of the electric rice cookers, this Bowery tenement could have come straight from the Nineteenth Century.

    By Elizabeth Dwoskin

  • Houston Press

    Getting Off

    DUI attorney Tyler Flood wins 80 percent of his trials--even if his clients were 100 percent drunk.

    By Mike Giglio

  • Miami New Times

    Park or Die Tryin'

    From the homeless parking mafia to the meter fairy, finding a spot in Miami has taken a turn toward the surreal.

    By Gus Garcia-Roberts

  • City Pages

    The Baddest Men on the Planet

    Straight from the Sam's Club tire shop, Brett Rogers prepares to meet Fedor Emelianenko in mortal combat.

    By Bradley Campbell

Be Social

  • rss

[Scariest People 2008] Haunted Alamo

By DAFFODIL J. ALTAN

Published on October 29, 2008 at 9:36am

A tide of hardworking Mexican men, women, children and abuelitas is threatening the sanctity of American freedom! It is coming en masse, and it’s headed for the last great American outpost, the building that once united and now divides two great nations—the Haunted Alamo! Or is it Mission San Juan Capistrano? A small band of patriotic soldiers, led by Barbara Coe and Michael Lamb, is losing its fight to defend the soil its own immigrant ancestors robbed and pillaged from the Native Americans fair and square. And just when things are at their brownest, a white knight appears: the specter of Klansman and OC pioneer Henry Head, leading an undead army that looks a lot like Santa Ana’s National Guard unit Company L—the original anti-Mexican militia! With carefully planned attacks, grammatically incorrect racist web slanders and a refusal to acknowledge the basic rights of human beings, this small army of ghosts and ghouls heroically pledges to fight until every last burrito is rechristened a “freedom wrap.”

 

Starring: Henry Head, Barbara Coe and Michael Lamb
Co-Starring: Company L as “The Army” and Lupe Moreno as “Lupe La Malinche
With: Jacob Rump, Billy Joe Johnson and Jim Gilchrist