Receive Weekly Email and Text Message Updates:
Sign up for latest info on concerts, dining, promotions and more!
Go!

National Features >

  • City Pages

    Michele Bachmann, Unmuzzled

    You don't need to read Sarah Palin's book to hear the ravings of a mad woman.

    By Matt Snyders

  • Miami New Times

    Pimp Daddy

    The rise and fall of a chubby sex-cult leader.

    By Natalie O'Neill

  • Riverfront Times

    Babe 'n' Arms

    Tom was a hot-tempered cross-dresser with a garage full of guns--and then he became Rachel.

    By Nicholas Phillips

  • Dallas Observer

    The Fight for Texas

    Rick Perry and Kay Bailey Hutchison are locked in a battle over the soul of the GOP. They're also running for governor.

    By Sam Merten

Be Social

  • rss

[Scariest People 2008] Haunted Alamo

By DAFFODIL J. ALTAN

Published on October 29, 2008 at 9:36am

A tide of hardworking Mexican men, women, children and abuelitas is threatening the sanctity of American freedom! It is coming en masse, and it’s headed for the last great American outpost, the building that once united and now divides two great nations—the Haunted Alamo! Or is it Mission San Juan Capistrano? A small band of patriotic soldiers, led by Barbara Coe and Michael Lamb, is losing its fight to defend the soil its own immigrant ancestors robbed and pillaged from the Native Americans fair and square. And just when things are at their brownest, a white knight appears: the specter of Klansman and OC pioneer Henry Head, leading an undead army that looks a lot like Santa Ana’s National Guard unit Company L—the original anti-Mexican militia! With carefully planned attacks, grammatically incorrect racist web slanders and a refusal to acknowledge the basic rights of human beings, this small army of ghosts and ghouls heroically pledges to fight until every last burrito is rechristened a “freedom wrap.”

 

Starring: Henry Head, Barbara Coe and Michael Lamb
Co-Starring: Company L as “The Army” and Lupe Moreno as “Lupe La Malinche
With: Jacob Rump, Billy Joe Johnson and Jim Gilchrist