His Fake Green Card, Her Tomato Packing

Gustavo’s dad sneaks into this country in the trunk of a Chevy, through a sewer, with a fake ID, by hopping a fence . . . And it goes on like this for a couple of pages. . . . Gustavo’s mom drops out of school in ninth grade, begins canning tomatoes in Fullerton. . . . More Mexicans come to Orange County, fights ensue—wait, that’s this year.

A rare photo of 1936 Citrus War. Man on left with Tommy Gun would become Sheriff James Musick.
Courtesy Anaheim Public Library
A rare photo of 1936 Citrus War. Man on left with Tommy Gun would become Sheriff James Musick.
The back of a rare photo of 1936 Citrus War.
Courtesy Anaheim Public Library
The back of a rare photo of 1936 Citrus War.

Errata & Miscellany

• Fremont Junior High in Anaheim was closed in 1979; condos now stand on the site, next to the Anaheim Central Library.

• The Hunt-Wesson cannery in Fullerton was originally known as Val Vita Food Products and run by the Norton Simon behind the famous art museum. Fullerton could’ve had the museum but bungled Simon’s overture; he instead moved his collection to Pasadena.


Where All the Good Idiot Republicans Go to Die

James “Barefoot Africans” Utt, Nolan “Apartheid Is Good” Frizzelle, Bill “AIDS Caused by Spores” Dannemeyer, Bob “B-1 Baboso” Dornan, Mike “Little Sheriff” Carona—need we say more?

Errata & Miscellany

• The Anaheim school trustee I mention is Joel Dvorman. The Orange County chapter of the ACLU should’ve named themselves after this martyr for liberalism. Dvorman’s widow still lives in Orange County, and his cremains are interred in Santa Ana’s Fairhaven Memorial Cemetery.

• The origins of the Lincoln Club were best covered in Red County magazine by OC Blog founder Matt “Jubal” Cunningham, who is actually an entertaining, articulate writer when he isn’t a GOP hack.

• My Weekly colleague R. Scott Moxley said I was too kind to The Orange County Register in my book. Fine. Here’s the biggest indictment of Orange County’s premier daily: They once employed Congressman Dana Rohrabacher (R-Taliban) as an editorial writer.


The Philadelphia Story

Gustavo “Anchor Baby” Arellano is born. . . . The redemptive powers of Alcoholics Anonymous . . . Gustavo enters school speaking only Spanish, comes out speaking mostly English—take that, Know Nothings. . . . Reconstituting Mexican village life in Orange County . . . Why San Clemente’s Surfin’ Chicken is the best chicken restaurant in OC.

Errata & Miscellany

• The building where my parents first danced was demolished a couple of years ago and is now an Auto Zone.

• First, I get Disneyland’s founding date wrong; then, my father throws up in Space Mountain. That’s what the Mouse gets for not hiring me at a job fair in Fullerton while I was in high school.

• The house where my father attended Alcoholics Anonymous meetings still stands in Anaheim. Probably an entire generation of drunk Mexican Anaheimers has passed through there.

• My Uncle Ezequiel still has a T-shirt with “Anaheim Arena” on the back. It can probably fetch some cash on eBay, no?


Gimme That OC Religion

An opening overview of county religion that copies Gustavo’s earlier bird’s-eye intro to OC . . . Hotbed of American Christianity . . . Gospel Swamp . . . Robert Schuller bites into an unpeeled avocado. . . . Chuck Smith saves hippies, turns them into fag-bashers. . . . Jan and Paul Crouch . . . Is Rick Warren the Antichrist? . . . Why Bishop Tod D. Brown IS the Antichrist.

Errata & Miscellany

• One of the great local religious mysteries: Why does the mothership Calvary Chapel say it’s in Costa Mesa when its address lists Santa Ana as the host city? Oh, right: Santa Ana.

• Howard F. Ahmanson Jr.’s Fieldstead & Co. has donated $400,000 for the passage of Proposition 8, which seeks to define marriage as between a man and a woman. He’s also a fan of ¡Ask a Mexican!—go figure.

• Sarang Community Church is in Fullerton, which has become a focal point for Korean Christianity in the United States over the past decade. The former Hunt-Wesson plant where my mom worked is now occupied by Grace Korean Church.

• Charles E. Fuller’s groves were among those that hired scabs during the 1936 Citrus War.

• Former Times religion reporter William Lobdell read this chapter and offered great feedback. But he took issue with my describing the Crystal Cathedral as “tacky yet godly and hard to hate,” noting Phillip Johnson’s masterpiece has won many architectural honors. I still say it’s as classy as fake zirconium.

• Saddleback Church is off the 241 Toll Road, not the 261 Toll Road. Can you tell I stick to the 5, 55 and 91 freeways a bit much?

• One major local Christian I didn’t examine was televangelist Benny Hinn. The omission was purposeful—though he keeps a multimillion-dollar home in Dana Point, Hinn didn’t play as crucial a role in the county’s development as the other individuals I profiled. Same with Muzammil Siddiqi—although the head of the Islamic Society of Orange County is one of the country’s most prominent imams, Islam is only now beginning to influence Orange County.


Genesis and the Stetson

Why Stetsons are so important to Mexicans and why Gustavo looks stupid in one . . . Gustavo dates a second cousin, likes it. . . . Mexican dances and French rolls . . . Gustavo goes through puberty, showers once a month. . . . His one plagiarism scandal.

Errata & Miscellany

• Some of the halls where El Cargadero has held its dances: UFCW Hall in Buena Park, Laborers Union, Local 652 off Chestnut and Grand avenues in Santa Ana, St. John the Baptist Greek Orthodox Church in Anaheim.

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