[Savage Love] Male Sexuality Is a Solid

So long as you were polite and direct—and I'm taking your word for that, FATSO—you're not a bad person even if her feelings were hurt. There are men out there who are open to big women or into big women—the bigger the better—and she can avoid hurt feelings in the future by e-mailing accurate photos and attracting the attention of men who actually find her attractive.

A Note to My Readers: Half the mail at Savage Love HQ now arrives with qualifiers like this one: "I'd appreciate receiving your advice via e-mail. Please do not print this in your column. Thanks. :)"

The person who wrote the above at least had the decency to include it at the start of his letter. (And the indecency to use an emoticon.) It's extremely annoying to read a long, involved letter about a fucked-up, complicated problem and—after composing a little advice in my head, or looking up some stuff, or sending a query to the appropriate expert—stumble across a "don't print this!" in a P.S.

I don't mean to be bitchy (that comes naturally), and I frequently write folks back who ask for a little private advice, but come on, people. I'm an advice columnist, not a therapist in private practice. My e-mail address is at the bottom of the column to solicit questions for future columns, not because I need something to do in my nonexistent free time.

Sometimes I do feel an urge to offer advice to fuck-ups with messy personal lives outside of the context of the column or the podcast. But that's what family reunions are for. But what the hell:

Confidential to Rick in Austin: It is indeed rare for two men to meet and fall in love while each is banging half of a pair of male twins. (Or were you sleeping with two different pairs of twins who shared an apartment when you took that fateful trip to the bathroom? It's unclear from your letter.) And, no, having a Hare Krishna brother shouldn't impact your love life, karma-wise, any more than having an English professor brother has impacted mine, classics-of-American-literature-wise. You're welcome.

Download the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at www.thestranger.com/savage. E-mail your letters to mail@savagelove.net.