By On the occasion of our 20th anniversary
By Gustavo Arellano
By R. Scott Moxley
By Alfonso Delgado
By Courtney Hamilton
By Joel Beers
By Peter Maguire
By Charles Lam
DO realize that drinking from a brown paper bag makes you a primary target of the anti-booze beach patrol.
DON'T go to Laguna Beach if you're insecure about your own sexuality.
DO appreciate that the surf off Newport Beach sometimes offers swift, lethal currents that can incapacitate even experienced swimmers.
DON'T leave for the beach at noon and expect to find parking before dusk.
DO know that police fly helicopters at a height over the beach that allows them to see everything without you knowing they are there.
DON'T go to Huntington Beach if you're afraid of skinheads or eau de marijuana.
DO maintain a 100-yard safety zone from often-obnoxious Inland Empire beach visitors, more than a few of whom are on parole or high on meth.
DON'T act like a Midwesterner and believe that you are more powerful than a 6-foot wave.
DO vacate the ocean if you see self-described "Surfin' Congressman" Dana Rohrabacher appear with a Boogie board and his usual all-young-male entourage.