By Gustavo Arellano
By R. Scott Moxley
By Alfonso Delgado
By Courtney Hamilton
By Joel Beers
By Peter Maguire
By Charles Lam
By Charles Lam
TO THE 241 TOLL ROAD, WITH LOVE
I hope that one day I don't have to look at wildlife. Our kids shouldn't be subjected to that filth. I want there to concrete everywhere (and some asphalt here and there). I love concrete so much I even have a picture of a toll road on my computer background and screen saver! Sometimes, when I am stressed, I go and stand on the shoulder of a toll road and smell the fumes—I mean, fresh air.
I can't wait until the U.S. is finally run by a corporation. As a matter of fact, the Republic of Starbucks has a fine ring to it. Corporations really should be making all of our decisions for us. I don't know what I want, and I need corporate "analysts" to study my behavior and determine what is best for me. I am just a stupid sheep, and although I think my voice or vote really counts, it is nothing compared to the millions of dollars corporations put into lobbyist pockets to buy—I mean, persuade—them.
So, please Transportation Corridor Agencies, I think that I want to enjoy the last healthy surf break in the 600 miles of SoCal coastline, but I am stupid and I need you to pay big money to make me realize that rain run-off from a toll road won't increase bacteria levels at Trestles. Being sick is just my body's natural way of going on a crash—I mean, "cleanse"—diet, right? And we all know that when you are skinny, you are healthy (the fashion industry has taught all the women in SoCal that is true).
In closing, to all of you stupid people out there, listen to the slick-suited PR firm that the TCA hires to tell us what we want.