?Quien Es Mas Mafia?

How the bishop and the sheriff stack up against the Godfather

On Dec. 3, Catholic Diocese of Orange Bishop Tod D. Brown will face what so few of his peers have encountered: a judge ready to throw the book at His Excellency. Brown is accused of sending Monsignor John Urell to Canada so he wouldn't finish a deposition for a sex-abuse lawsuit alleging church officials protected statutory rapist and former Mater Dei High School boys' basketball coach Jeff Andrade (see "Bad Moves," Sept. 27). With the court date, the bishop joins an ignoble field long dominated by Mafia bosses. And by sheer coincidence (or providence?), another Orange County luminary is also charged with Mob-like behavior: Sheriff Mike Carona.

Critics of Brown and Carona claim the two have operated like virtual dons during their reign. In the spirit of fairness, let's compare Brown and Carona to the ultimate capo di tutti capi, Michael Corleone:

CHARGES FACED

Brown:  Contempt of court

Carona:  Using his elected office to enrich himself

Corleone:  Appearing in The Godfather III

SICILIAN?

Brown:  No, but very, very Catholic

Carona:  Yes

Corleone:  Si

ALL-POWERFUL CONSIGLIERE

Brown:  Peter Callahan (although Petey loses more cases than Lionel Hutz)

Carona:  Mike Schroeder

Corleone:  Tom Hagen

THEIR FREDO

Brown:  Monsignor John Urell

Carona:  George Jaramillo

Corleone:  Duh—Fredo

ACCUSED OF WITNESS TAMPERING?

Brown:  Yes (shipping off Urell to Canada)

Carona:  Yes (asking former caporegime Don Haidl to lie before a federal grand jury)

Corleone:  Yes (flying in Frank Pentageli's brother to shut the canary up)

SUBSCRIBES TO OMERTA?

Brown:  Yes (Brown tried to seal his deposition for the Andrade case)

Carona:  Yes (at least to unfriendly reporters)

Corleone:  Yes

ETERNAL APOLOGIST

Brown:  Far too many of county's 1.2 million Catholics

Carona:  Tinstarblog.blogspot.com

Corleone:  Francis Ford Coppola

ATTEMPTED COUPS BY UNDERLINGS

Brown:  None

Carona:  Bill Hunt (during the 2006 election)

Corleone:  Sal Tessio

BETRAYERS AND THEIR PUNISHMENT

Brown:  Anyone who opposes the Church burns in Hell—how you like those wafers?

Carona:  Hunt was demoted to serve in Stanton—in many ways, a fate worse than Hell

Corleone:  Tessio got killed by Clemenza

FINAL DESTINY

Brown:  For God to decide

Carona:  We'll find out summer 2008

Corleone:  Appearing in The Godfather III

 
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