OC's Scariest People

Our Congressional delegation tops this year’s list of 33 villains (31 for October, plus two more to get to the Dia de los Muertos, ese)

"Stop ignoring the massive illegal immigration problem in Orange County. Report on how our neighborhoods have steadily been turning to garbage, starting in Santa Ana and radiating outward. Report on how there is no place to live in the county because huge areas of this county have become uninhabitable. Stop glossing over the impact of their crimes in your stories."

"The OCR could easily do without Yvette Cabrera and her racist columns."

The comments are so noxious that Register reporters signed a group letter in March asking editor Ken Brusic to better monitor the comments. Earlier this month, the Reg finally instituted a policy requiring readers to register with the paper before leaving comments. MITIGATING FACTOR: Counting the zero-to-Mexicans rate makes a great drinking game.

 

22) MICKEY MOUSE, SLUMLORD

The rodent icon seems to fancy himself a 21st-century Robert Moses. Disneyland has gathered signatures for two initiatives that would allow the company to dictate development around its two Anaheim theme parks. Opponents say Disney is forsaking its obligation to provide affordable housing for the company's many low-income workers; Disney insists it's just looking out for Anaheim's future. Mickey? His quiet smile is deafening. MITIGATING FACTOR: "Steamboat Willie"? Still funny.

 

23) THE POORMAN

With Wally George dead and gone, KDOC very nearly became an all-rerun station without any crazy local would-be celebrity with a cheap-looking show to call his own. Enter Jim Trenton, a.k.a. the Poorman, who had the brilliant idea of taping a half-hour show of girls in bikinis and the not-so-brilliant idea of hosting it himself. Though he's just a regular-looking surfer dude in real life, he can't seem to appear on camera without leering hideously, sticking his tongue out, wearing ugly outfits and having people pretend to beat him up and vomit on him, among other indignities. MITIGATING FACTOR: If you could make a living being humiliated by beautiful women, wouldn't you at least give it a shot?

 

24) THE CAST OFNEWPORT HARBOR: THE REAL ORANGE COUNTY

Ever wanted to get scared about the future? Just sit down and watch this MTV reality show as it films a bunch of idiots discussing nothing for a half-hour. Six tanned teenagers—Allie, Chrissy, Sasha, Clay, Chase and Grant—tackle life's tough issues, such as whether Rome is a country, "bootylicious" is a word, or caliente translates to weather-hot or attractive-hot. They serve up these gems with a heaping helping of the words "like," "shut up" and "no way." On complimenting the fairer sex: "If she's wearing a pink dress say, 'Damn, girl, I like your silk.'" On abstinence: "Guys like virgins because it means that you're all pure and stuff." These kids act as a compass for the younger generations, directing them toward the knowledge that if only your parents made as much money as theirs do, you might be able to get by in life being a complete moron, too. MITIGATING FACTOR: Like, no way. Shut up, you guys.

 

25) THE ANAHEIM UNION ?HIGH SCHOOL DISTRICT

The Anaheim Unified High School District Board of Trustees had a vacancy on the dais this year. Instead of filling the seat with the runner-up from the fall election, this jolly bunch decided to fill it with Harald Martin, the ex-cop, ex-board member and current immigrant-hater.

Some of Martin's most memorable moments on the board involved blaming a 13-year-old for her molestation at the hands of her teacher, writing legislation that would allow INS agents to check citizenship of any Latino high-school kids, and trying to sue Mexico for $50 million as a reimbursement for Anaheim's role in educating the children of illegal immigrants. The board's appointment shocked community members and resulted in a bipartisan uproar. After opponents gathered 5,000 signatures in an effort to get Martin recalled, he resigned in September. MITIGATING FACTOR: We get to write the word "dais."

 

26) DEPUTY KEVIN TAYLOR

On Oct. 5, 2006, Taylor was one of two guards manning the control tower at the F-Barracks inside Theo Lacy Men's Jail in Orange, while 30 feet away, anywhere between six and several dozen inmates committed the most grisly murder in the jail's history. For up to 20 minutes, they stomped, kicked and beat inmate John Chamberlain to death in full view of the control tower. According to a lawsuit filed by Chamberlain's family, the inmates mistakenly believed Chamberlain was a child molester, an impression they allegedly received from Taylor, who, the lawsuit contends, told a white gang leader in the prison that Chamberlain was fair game for a beat-down. (Chamberlain was awaiting trial for possessing kiddie porn.) Cameras inside the control tower mysteriously didn't record the murder, but they do show Taylor and another deputy reacting to the attack minutes later. Taylor, who hasn't been charged with any crime, later told investigators he was watching baseball in the tower when the beating occurred. MITIGATING FACTOR: Taylor was well-liked by inmates, one of whom described him as a "nice guy" and the "best" guard at the prison.

 

27) ZOMBIE DUMMIES OF HO CHI MINH AND NGUYEN CAO KY

These two scary fellows made repeated appearances at anti-communist demonstrations in and around Little Saigon earlier this year. They depict former North Vietnamese President Ho Chi Minh and former South Vietnamese Vice President Nguyen Cao Ky (an advocate of normalized U.S. trade relations with Vietnam) as a pair of lynching victims. With gouged-out eyes and arrows protruding from their bellies, the gruesome display provides a stern warning to commie spies and sympathizers in the Vietnamese American community. They're so scary that protest organizers reluctantly stowed the dummies after receiving complaints from parents that the dummies were traumatizing their kids. MITIGATING FACTOR: VC Number 10!

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