Hey, You!

You say it's your birthday? Congrats! You're a unique individual—just like everybody else on the planet. Oh, and you're drunk, too, and you want to hear a bunch of songs you really liked when you were in college 15 years ago? That's fabulous, but I'm trying to DJ here. I occasionally honor requests when they're intelligent and I actually have the record in my bag. But you crossed the line with your slurring demands to hear Eurythmics' "Sweet Dreams" and Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean." Does anyone ever really need to hear those overplayed hits again? I don't think so. Not even in the next lifetime. You could see I was obviously busy trying to cue the next track, yet you continued to spout requests, each more inane than the last. I just shook my head and grimaced, but alcohol apparently deadens your ability to acknowledge not-so-subtle hints. May your inevitable hangover never end.

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to "Hey, You!" c/o OC Weekly, 1666 N. Main St., Ste. 500, Santa Ana, CA 92701-7417, or e-mail us at letters@ocweekly.com.