Hey, You!

Hey, you two Fullerton College Police Academy trainees jaywalking across Berkeley Street a few days ago. Traffic is bad enough on this street with students trying to avoid paying to use the brand-new half-deserted parking structure on the other side of the campus. You guys felt you had to fuck around by boldly walking right out into traffic, pretending you weren’t going to stop, even when cars were coming from both directions. As I was passing, one of you even shoved your buddy toward my car. You guys were having such a good time; laughter must have made you indestructable! Keep in mind however that the first reflex drivers will have when you step in front of them understandably is to slow down, either gradually or suddenly depending on the distance between you and them, and since this road has recently turned into a desperate raceway full of inattentive dipshits who are late to class or on their cell phones and usually driving up my ass, it’s pretty easy to see the potential for a lot of hurt to you or, worse, to me or to someone else. If you two are any indication of law enforcement’s future, I say keep crossing, and maybe someday, someone late for midterms while texting a boyfriend will take you out of society’s hair.

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusationsâ€"changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocentâ€"to “Hey, You!†c/o OC Weekly, 1666 N. Main St., Ste. 500, Santa Ana, CA 92701-7417, or e-mail us at letters@ocweekly.com.