Diary of a Mad County

Feb. 14-Feb. 20

Saturday, February 17
I'm not in the business of reading newspapers—I consider myself more of a song-and-dance man—but I got a look at yesterday's OC Register's Life section. There, on the back page, was a two-column story about how readers had reacted to a column by Mayrav Saarabout taking a picture of her husband's genitalia. The readers said they were outraged, which I get because I've got one of these things, and really, they're disgusting. Really. When I had my appendectomy, they shavedme down there and I got a really good look at the thing; it looked like a cross between the alien baby that jumps out of John Hurt'schest and that old dude who used to dance in the Magic Mountain ads. So, I understand the outrage. What I don't understand is the Register running a story to placate prudish readers beneath another story headlined, "Spanking: Some swear by its results"

Sunday, February 18
I swear to you, I heard this on a local TV stationthat had just done five minutes on Britney Spears shaving her head. "The other big story today: Iraq."

Monday, February 19

Tuesday, February 20
Former Orange County Superior Court Judge Ronald C. Kline collapses in court when he is sentenced to 27 months in federal prison for possessing child pornography. Kline passed out at 12:25 p.m. and paramedics had to be called to treat him. Kline was arrested in November, 2001, after a Canadian named Bradley Willmanhacked into his computer and found hundreds of images of boysengaged in sex. Disgusting, isn't it? The idea that a Canadian could be looking at your stuffright now. Eeeeeewwww.


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