Love Is for Suckers

Here it comes again: Singles Awareness Day. More commonly referred to as Valentine's Day, or that one day a year when otherwise level-headed people are convinced to spend an accumulated 13 billion dollars on chocolate and teddy bears for their sweethearts. And what if you don't have a sweetheart? Tough luck. The nasty side effect of Feb. 14 is that the holiday coldly singles out all of the, well, singles. Those of us without a significant other are left out of the festivities, feeling more inclined to lock ourselves indoors rather than hit the town solo on the biggest date night of the year. Single people are like the weird fat kid who doesn't get invited to the party. Thankfully, there are some places that will be catering to the rest of us social outcasts, and have refused to give in to the typical mix of candlelight, strolling violins and other romantic crap:

Alex's Bar will be having a singles party along with "Valen-Wino Day" wine tasting. If you don't like wine, they have a full bar, not to mention 24 oz. Pabst and Tecate tallboys.

Club Infirmary, along with their usual Wednesday night Industrial bacchanalia, will be featuring a very naughty burlesque show. Just because you're single doesn't mean you can't watch a girl take her clothes off.

Detroit Bar plans on supplying the masses with a healthy dose of "rock & roll decadence" featuring a DJ spinning nothing but metal and hard rock. Oh, and go-go dancers too. "Great for singles who like to rock," event manager Chris Fahey assures me, "Love is for suckers!"

Don't have a fake I.D.? Chain Reaction, the teenage mecca for new bands, will be hosting an all-ages dance party for those looking for underage love. No live bands, but there will be DJs and overpriced soda.

Valen-Wino Day at Alex's Bar, 2913 E. Anaheim St., Long Beach, (562) 434-8292; www.alexsbar.com. Wed., 8 p.m. 21+; Burlesque at Club Infirmary, 14241 Euclid St., Garden Grove; www.myspace.com/clubinfirmary. Wed., 10 p.m. 21+; Rock & Roll Decadence at Detroit Bar, 843 W. 19th St., Costa Mesa, (949) 642-0600; www.detroitbar.com. Wed., 9 p.m. 21+; All Ages Dance Party at Chain Reaction, 1562 W. Lincoln Ave., Anaheim, (714) 635-6067; www.allages.com. Wed., 7-11:30 p.m. All Ages.