Hey, You!

Blue Crash

You are the fullsuit/hoodie/bootie-wearing old man on the blue "fun board" surfing C-Street who had the incredibly arrogant audacity to not only drop in behind me on my wave, but then yell at me to pull out! I know your kind: you are the 40-plus guy who thinks that because he surfed Witch's Rock before Costa Rica was in the magazines, he has an inalienable right to every cold, dirty, second-class California set wave that breaks within 50 miles of his 9 to 5. Surfing has one basic rule of etiquette: whoever gets the wave first and deepest owns it. C-Street is even nice enough to put illustrated signs up on the boardwalk explaining this. Nobody is impressed by your flailing-arm style either, brah. So ditch the hoodie, or, better yet, move to Northern Cali where it's needed and there are plenty of sharks who are just itching to introduce your dumb ass to the food chain!


Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to "Hey, You!" c/o OC Weekly, 1666 N. Main St., Ste. 500, Santa Ana, CA 92701-7417, or e-mail us at letters@ocweekly.com.

 
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