December
1The Orange County Register lays off about 10 percent of its work staff, giving 40 workers a "voluntary severance plan"—"voluntary severance" being a term coined during the French revolution. Now, coincidentally—or is it?—this is the also the last day the Long Beach Press-Telegram is giving tours of its magnificent old brick building—ink stained into the walls, presses on the first floor—which the paper is vacating to relocate in a nondescript office building, which reflects the current state of that once great paper. The P-T's demise was speeded when it was purchased by newspaper baron William Dean Singleton, who is to American journalism what buzzards are to the Great Circle of Life. The paper has been gutted to the point of insignificance—"gutted to the point of insignificance" being a term coined by the Tribune Company. (Now, don't think for a moment that because these other newspaper companies are experiencing hard times that the industry is sick as a whole. We, for one, are making money hand over fist, owing mainly to our ancillary revenue streams from Indian subsidiaries that hold those fists over the hands of wee child laborers.) Folks at the Register may be thanking their lucky stars that a bid by Singleton to buy their paper was rebuffed a few years back. Then again, maybe they shouldn't be too thankful. When that deal failed, Singleton told The New York Times that he considered the Register a "deferred sale," explaining: "They'll clean these properties up, cut a lot of cost, and put them on the market again in three to five years. When they do, I suspect we'll be there." He said that three years ago . . . 2 An amazing and shocking story runs in what's left of the Register. It's about Huntington Beach Police Chief Kenneth "Biggie" Small admitting that, well, yes, in fact, his officers do plant unloaded guns as well as drugs and drug paraphernalia in suspects' vehicles, explaining they do so merely as a training exercise, you know, like the Sudetenland. Now, what is amazing and shocking about this story is not that Huntington Beach cops are doing something unconstitutional, cruel and perverse—"Unconstitutional, Cruel and Perverse" is, after all, the city motto; two HB cops are under investigation for shooting and killing an 18-year-old girl and tales of police hostility in the city are as common as HB council members taking the Fifth when under cross examination by federal prosecutors. No, what is amazing and shocking is that nowhere in the Register story is it mentioned that this story was first reported in the Weekly A MONTH AGO. Go ahead, look it up. Go to the search engine on our website and type in "Training Day" and "R. Scott Moxley." I'm not saying the Register couldn't write the story or build upon the one Scott wrote A MONTH AGO, all I'm saying is give a brother a shout out. It's just good manners. By the way, in Scott's story, you know, the one that ran A MONTH AGO, Loyola Law School professor Stan Goldman called the training-exercise excuse "ridiculous, crazy, nuts," and the actions of "reckless cowboy cops with too much chutzpah," the latter statement always serving to pop the name John Waynestein into my brain . . . 5 Today's Register reports that Huntington Beach police will stop the practice of planting guns and such in unsuspecting civilians' cars. The paper takes credit for the change, saying that Chief Small said "we just think it's not worth continuing." Now was he talking about planting guns or the Register? . . . 13 Celebrity website TMZ.com reports that actress/video vixen/shoe weaponry expert Tawny Kitaen, arrested for possession of 15 grams of cocaine, struck a deal with Orange County prosecutors today that allows her to avoid prison if she completes a drug treatment program. (TMZ also reports that "Mary Kate Loves Her Witch Shoes" and "Janice [Dickinson] Puts the Ho in Holidays" and we are the richer for it . . . wait.) Kitaen, who was arrested in her San Juan Capistrano apartment with her two daughters present, has struggled with addiction so getting some help is good news for her and her family, but one has to feel for the young up-and-coming soon-to-be-forgotten-and-living-in-a-San-Juan-Capistrano-apartment vixens—your Lindsay Lohans, Tara Reids, Britney Spears and Colin Farrells—who've lost a role model. Fear not, self-entitled train wrecks, George Michael lives! . . .
By Bob Aul
Dick Cheney hunting costume for rent
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