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• Punk Rock Alex
• NOFX
• Elton John
• Steve Soto
• Punk Rock

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If I still drank alcohol, would I ever be raising a glass to this fucking idea! Punk Rock Karaoke isn't just some funny theme night in which there's more Sex Pistols than Elton John (although that would be fine because the juxtaposition of "God Save the Queen" and those Korean stock-footage videotapes with the lyrics would be suitably awful). Nay, this is the answer to many a secret dream kept hidden under layers of cigarettes, dirty leather and stained white cotton. Punk Rock Karaoke offers anyone with a decent amount of pluck the opportunity to front a house band made up of suitably humble punk demigods—just for the hell of it.

Punk Rock Karaoke happens periodically with a different lineup and in different places. This version will be held at Alex's Bar, who also hosted in 2004. The backing band is made up of the evening's MC, Eric Melvin of NOFX; Greg Hetson of Bad Religion and Circle Jerks on guitar; Steve Soto of the Adolescents and Agent Orange on bass; and Derek O'Brien of Social D on drums. If you're a pussy, you'll have an extra-fun night out at the bar. If you are not a pussy, you'll be picking your favorite jam from a solid list of punk-rock standards, and then, depending on your age, internal nostalgia factor and performance, barfing in the corner or cheersing yourself afterward.

My friend Matt reports that when he took a turn at Punk Rock Karaoke at the '98 Warped Tour, it was "super-fun" and "Eric from NOFX kept making fun of me beforehand, and I did most of it in a power squat." Sounds about right. Then he barfed.

Punk Rock Karaoke at Alex's Bar, 2913 E. Anaheim St., Long Beach, (562) 434-8292; www.alexsbar.com. Fri. Call for time. $10. 21+.