Diary of a Mad County

Nov. 22 - Nov. 28

Saturday, Nov. 25
My son's football team loses, which means we are deprived of the opportunity to travel to Orlando and spend a week in Orlando doing things in Orlando. I am destroyed.

Sunday, Nov. 26
And Jesus said, "Verily, I say unto you it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Chaz Diesel? Shoot him right to the front of the line and then send him in with all the drink tickets he desires." Hey, guess what I'm thinking? Did you say "Pope Diesel?" Yes.

Monday, Nov. 27
You know what I think is great? The way we drive when it rains. It's so good, you know, the way people assume that the rain actually washes away all traffic statutes as well as any semblance of courtesy or human feeling. Love it.

Tuesday: Pam Anderson, I am here for you. Photo by Tenaya Hills
Tuesday: Pam Anderson, I am here for you. Photo by Tenaya Hills

Tuesday, Nov. 28
The world mourns the shocking—SHOCKING!—news that Pam Anderson and Kid Rock have filed for divorce, and it appears that Orange County was at the root of the problem. Now, like most people, I assumed that when those two got past the nettlesome three-month anniversary it would be smooth sailing from there on in. But, according to the New York Post's Page Six, the final blow to the union came as the pair watched the Borat movie at the Beverly Hills home of Universal Studio chief Ron Meyer a couple of weeks ago. When the scene at the end of the film appeared in which Borat attempts to marry Pam by putting her in a cloth sack at the Virgin Megastore at the Block at Orange, Rock apparently went ballistic and started calling his wife a "whore" and a "slut" and asked, "How could you do that movie?" And when it comes down to it, who better to give career advice than Kid Rock, who apparently had an album that sold some copies some time before the invention of TiVo or good taste? But anyways, that's over. You're welcome.

SLOWERY@OCWEEKLY.COM

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