Garofollower?

Joe Carchio tight with felonious ex-mayor

Actual data . . . real facts . . . substantiated by the Registrar: 2004 Huntington Beach Election results were different than what became reality. See why Joe Carchio actually won the election!

When the story continues on an inside page, it turns out that Garofalo's paper has a problem with the legitimacy of votes cast via absentee ballot:

Joe Carchio actually beat contender Keith Bohr in the "popular" portion of the election—all those men and women who got out of bed early, or used their lunch hour or who stopped by on the way home to vote. Keith came in 4th on Election Day, 6th in the early voting . . . but 3rd in the Absentee Ballots. Sorry, Joe, better luck next time."

A few pages later, however, a column written by "Jersey" Joe Carchio beneath a big mug shot and a fat headline reading "Taxes!" doesn't inspire much confidence in the candidate. Carchio marvels at how large a number one billion is, questions the exorbitant cost of rebuilding New Orleans, prints somebody else's poem on excessive taxation as if it were his own and then finishes up by railing against taxes, excessive spending on education, the poor state of public education, potholes and broken sidewalks. He finishes up with a terrifying passage that echoes 1980's Houston rappers Public Enemy:

The City (sic) is under siege . . . infrastructure repairs, alleys in the Downtown (sic), Bushard – Help U All…where is the leadership to make these special districts who tear up our streets do their work at night? OK, I'm better now. I think I need a sandwich . . . perhaps I will try Jersey Joe's in Downtown HB.

Carchio did not return any of several phone calls requesting an interview for this story. He answered one call placed to his restaurant but quickly begged off, insisting he was late to an appointment and promising to make time to talk the next day. His appointment: a dinner at the Boy's and Girl's Club—Garofalo's favorite charity.

DWIELENGA@OCWEEKLY.COM 

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