Sunday, Oct. 8
The San Diego Chargers defeat the Pittsburgh Steelers 23-13 at home in their retro powder-blue and gold uniforms that are among the prettiest things out there, and I'm including Falling Waters and Beethoven's Ninth. Now that the Raiders have been relegated to a rec league team, it's time we get to know the Chargers, as they have become our de facto team. So here are some factos: originally called the Drunken Redskins, the team changed the name due to community outrage and settled on Drunken Micks, which no one seemed to have a problem with. Originally playing in the AFL, they bolted that league when it merged with the CIO, having voiced its differences with Walter Reuther on numerous occasions. From there, the team flitted between one menial job and another, finally doing some "things" at Jim Nabors' house that it still does not like to talk about. The team now lives quietly with its second wife, The Ice Capades, tending its garden, clipping coupons and bringing the pain. Oh, yes, the pain.
Monday, Oct. 9 Tom Child, if in any way I have angered you, I want to apologize. You are a fine and supple man, and it was not my intention to humiliate or in any way harm you. That was my intention for Theo Douglas.
Tuesday, Oct. 10
At a quickly thrown together summit to discuss school violence, experts—because we now have "school violence experts"—say the key to keeping our kids safe is not only security cameras and metal detectors, but also "good intelligence." Simple.