Hey, You!

Can You Hear Me Now?

You're the store employee of a well-known cell phone service provider who ended my life as a happy "other woman." I have never met you, but I hate you and your big mouth. Reason? While my boyfriend was in the store for a phone upgrade you told him that you "strongly recommend" he gets unlimited messaging as part of his phone plan—here your statement should have ended, but you tactlessly continued—"because you sent and received a total of 400 text messages in May and June alone." All of this said whilst his unsuspecting, docile wife was standing next to him. Thanks, you ruined our happy 14-month liaison. Dumb bitch, might I "strongly recommend" that you show discretion to customers who are obviously enjoying a legitimate extramarital affair.

Illustration by Bob Aul
Illustration by Bob Aul


Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to "Hey, You!" c/o OC Weekly, 1666 N. Main St., Ste. 500, Santa Ana, CA 92701-7417, or e-mail us at letters@ocweekly.com.

 
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