News

Do they think you are a rich person getting stamps for kicks?

Oh yeah, scams abound at stamp heaven.

What scams have you personally been accused of?

The frills of this interview blow. I haven’t even gotten a single bottle of Mad Dog.

Is it even legal for me to give a poor person a gift?

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds it may incriminate me. But it depends on the level of the gift receiver. At the bottom, anything is okay. But us borderline poors—a gift can send our stamp allotment plummeting.

Why?

The big IBM machine in the sky is always watching. They don’t want anyone that is doing fine on money to get stamps. That takes away from the needy. And they are right. Making $75 a week under the table is too much.

What is the most rewarding part of being poor?

Well, I must say it’s nice to have a county officer call me rich for having $4.73 in the bank. And it’s always wonderful to walk into a grocery store in my finest suit and be most outgoing to the cashier, only to present payment with stamps and get frowned on. That is wonderful. I know it’s because they’re jealous that they aren’t poor like me. (Chris Ziegler)