Hey, You!

Illustration by Bob Aul

You're the uptight new chick who just joined our sweatshop of a sales division. I understand you're fresh to the job and you want to impress the higher-ups 'round here. But don't forget us little people, the folks who can make your life hell. We're already plotting revenge since we learned you told our boss we goof off too much. See, we've been at our jobs for a lot longer than you, and we've learned that the best way to cope with stress—and remain productive members of this corporation—is to screw with one another and make sarcastic remarks that help make our daily grind more fun. Here's the goof: you didn't just snitch to our boss—when she told you not to worry about worker productivity, that the company's sales have never been higher—you had the nerve to go above her head and snitch her out for not regulating her employees. Now she's in trouble for protecting us. If we had any balls, we'd simply kick your ass; instead, we're dreaming of ways to get you fired.

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to "Hey, You!" c/o OC Weekly, 1666 N. Main St., Ste. 500, Santa Ana, CA 92701-7417, or e-mail us at letters@ocweekly.com.