Yo-ho, Yo-ho, No Pirate's Life for Me

I have been kicked out of Disneyland in the past, but I've never been "urged" out of the park. Instead of being physically removed, "Gary" simply followed me around until the paranoia finally got the better of me. After 37 minutes of making "Gary" swelter in the heat, I felt I had fucked with him enough. I left, but even outside of the gates, I had the Anaheim PD take up the "urging" until I was far enough away from the Disneyland entrance to no longer be perceived as a threat.

As I basked in the cool air conditioning of the resort's Grand Californian Bar, I decided to push my luck one last time and sold my credentials to some unsuspecting rube for 100 bucks. I told him to give my best to "Gary."

Drink the booze and take their women./ Photo by Jack Shit

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• Disneyland Resort
• Scott Foundas
• Wichita
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• Jack Sparrow

 
Related story: Scott Foundas, on the other hand, did make it into a screening. Read his review of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.